Hiraeth

Have you ever felt a connection with a place you’ve never been?  In my dreams, I often find myself in an unfamiliar place, yet it is generally set in the exact location.  When I wake, I feel a strange sense of familiarity and a deep connection to the dream location.  How is that possible?  Hiraeth, perfectly captures that feeling. It’s like a deep, aching longing for something that’s lost, never found, or just out of reach. It’s this mixed-up feeling of pain and joy that’s so close together you can’t really tell them apart. It’s more than just missing something; it’s this super powerful, hard-to-shake yearning for something that’s gone forever.

I’ve been away for almost half a year and will be back in 12 days! I’ve been wondering, what exactly is home? When I was little, my family moved around a lot, so I attended at least seven different schools from kindergarten to 12th grade. I lived in several cities and seven other places during my first decade as an adult. I never really felt that special connection that most people have to a “home.” I find comfort wherever I am in the world. Am I missing something? Some people say you can only feel fulfilled with a place called home. I’ll never know, because I’ve never really come to cherish material locations in all these years. Standing on the soil is home, meaning I’m alive, not just covered in it.

Today, I walked with the dog, followed by an hour-long Zwift ride.  I thought I would go outside, but it was rainy.  It is a good day to clean and do the laundry.

I feel better, yet I still have trouble breathing.  The throat is closing up; it all seems to function below the neck.  I will use the nebulizer a few times daily to see if it improves my lungs.  I was surprised at the nutrition report for yesterday.  I am tracking intake in detail using Cronometer and found the following:

• Choline at 244.6 mg, 44% of the recommended intake

• Vitamin E at 8.3mg, 55% of the recommended intake

• Protein at 115.8 g, 57% of the recommended intake

• Magnesium at 12.8 mg, 61% of the recommended intake

• Potassium at 2,313mg, 68% of the recommended intake

• Calcium at 2,301.7, 230% of the recommended intake

• Sodium at 3,843.5mg, 256% of the recommended intake

Since this is just one day, I will not focus on any changes. I prefer a fuller week of data before I commence changes.

Carry on my friends!