In this post, I intend to discuss my upbringing and its impact on my life. My upbringing has strained certain relationships and engendered resentment among others. This raises the question: What does this imply?
Our parents, educators, peers, employers, and government all impart specific values, beliefs, and habits upon us. Ultimately, regardless of the influences we encounter, our identities are shaped by the harmonious integration of all this information.
One fundamental lesson my father instilled in me has recently resurfaced. My father firmly believed that criticism should be accompanied by empathy and understanding. If you have negative sentiments towards someone, refrain from expressing them directly, even if you feel compelled to do so.
I have adhered to this counsel for over four decades, and it has both caused challenges and saved me numerous times. When I attempt to walk in someone’s shoes, I demonstrate a heightened capacity for forgiveness towards their challenges. This explains why I have engaged in this practice so frequently. Despite the inclination to criticize someone, I take the time to “walk in their shoes,” akin to organizing a large-scale running event, a tennis tournament, a youth sports group, coaching various sports, including softball, baseball, tennis, hockey, football, basketball, soccer, and more. Through these experiences, I have discovered that my perspective on the matter becomes less pronounced when I have taken on their perspective.
Numerous criticisms are directed at the medical profession. It is often argued that doctors receive excessive compensation for their work, while other professions, such as government employees, sales representatives, and teachers, are perceived as having relatively lower salaries. For instance, a friend once complained about his sister, who works in the pharmaceutical industry, earning $200,000 in a single year and nearly failing her college education. He suggested that she must have achieved her success through luck, but I emphasized the importance of understanding the complexities of the pharmaceutical industry before making such remarks. I do not believe all these criticisms are accurate, as many other comments about various professions lack substantiation. This is because I have not personally experienced the challenges and responsibilities of these professions, making it difficult for me to provide a definitive assessment.
Why does this issue arise now? Recently, I have engaged in heated email discussions regarding baseball umpires and their perceived errors. While I acknowledge that these errors were indeed mistakes, the extreme criticism they have faced, which is unprecedented for most individuals, prompted me to respond defensively. Even John Kroch, a prominent figure in ESPN, acknowledged the presence of clear errors but refrained from advocating for their dismissal.
This matter holds a deep personal significance for me. As a former baseball umpire for seven years, who ultimately chose to make it a profession, I have firsthand experience with the challenges and responsibilities associated with this role. Contrary to popular belief, most umpires are not solely employed in the field. Many are business owners, wealthy through other means, or retired from other professions. Raising a family within this profession presents significant obstacles.
It is important to recognize that a select few individuals manage to balance their umpiring responsibilities with other commitments. Since my departure from baseball, I have transitioned to tennis officiating, where I have observed similar patterns. Professional tennis events often generate substantial travel expenses, resulting in me earning only $300 per week for working 10-hour days.
A close friend of mine is a highly esteemed tennis official. He has had the privilege of officiating at the prestigious US Open, Australian Open, and Wimbledon, and is widely regarded as one of the top officials in the industry. Recently, I inquired about his financial situation. He informed me that he earns approximately $1000 per month, but he also has other sources of income.
However, what saddens me most is the societal lack of understanding regarding the challenges faced by officials in this position. Regardless of their actions, they are often subjected to criticism and hostility. Imagine if the media continuously covered every aspect of their work. They may be required to remain on duty late to secure their next assignment. Even taking a sick day can have serious repercussions.
The exceptional officials, like many friends and myself who were highly rated, chose to leave baseball in favor of positions that offer health insurance and a more stable wage, enabling them to support their families. As I mentioned, some individuals may achieve success, similar to the protagonist in the movie “The Rookie,” who portrayed Jimmy Morris’s journey to becoming a major league baseball player. However, his pursuit nearly strained his family’s finances, and two years later, he was forced to retire from the major leagues. It is rare for individuals to remain in officiating long enough to reach the pinnacle of their careers without additional income sources.
In contrast, the number of dedicated and reliable officials is dwindling, as the job lacks stability and gratitude. Consequently, the selection pool has become increasingly narrow. Just a few years ago, I remarked that the retail sector suffers due to inadequate customer service and skilled employees. However, I have recently learned that this is the best candidate they can secure. As I mentioned earlier, it is advisable to record every moment of your job, as there would likely be grounds for termination if you hold them to such a high standard for even a minor mistake, a mispronounced word, or any other insignificant issue captured on tape.
Therefore, when I perceive someone as being utterly incompetent, I reflect on my own actions and realize that we are all susceptible to making mistakes. Unlike the media, which sensationalizes their failures and debates their job status, we do not have constant exposure to such scrutiny.
Like I said, I've been there, done that, and had a whole new perspective.
