Christmas and fear

As John Lennon would sing:

So this is Christmas

And what have you done

Another year over

And a new one has just begun

And so this is Christmas

I hope you have fun

The near and the dear ones

The old and the young

A very merry Christmas

And a happy New Year

Let’s hope it’s a good one

Without any fear

In the household where I partake in the Christmas spirit, the atmosphere is generally positive, with most individuals experiencing happiness and some experiencing temporary contentment. I refer to “contentment” as a state of peaceful happiness. While we are all aware that the demanding and competitive nature of our society will inevitably resurface, it is essential to remember that we are all still alive and well.

During the Christmas season, I experienced a profound emotional moment. I learned of the untimely passing of Garret Zwickey, a 28-year-old individual, a few weeks ago. It is disheartening to witness the pain that families endure in such circumstances, and it is a reality that affects more than one family each year. For the past six years, I have personally known of an individual under the age of 30 whose parents will soon bid farewell to their loved ones.

As I have aged, the words of John Lennon, uttered with unwavering courage, have become increasingly difficult for me to accept. My fear has intensified each year, leading me to engage in a profound debate about the nature of fear. To address this topic, we must transcend the confines of our immediate concerns and consider the broader context of planetary evolution. We must perceive ourselves as formidable beings with the potential to reach our fullest potential, rather than as fragile individuals struggling to cope with unfavorable situations.

The primary aspect of fear is its inherent biological nature. The experience of fear originates from the amygdala, a prominent structure located in the ancient reptilian region of the brain. However, I do not intend to delve into the intricacies of our biological structure, as this domain is best left to the esteemed scientists and anthropologists of our time. Instead, I pose the question: “Is fear an essential component of our existence?”

Fear is an integral part of our lives. Whenever we venture beyond our comfort zones or make significant changes to our habits and beliefs, fear manifests itself as a formidable force, urging us to remain steadfast in our current state. And like a well-trained dog, we swiftly learn to heed this warning. We become apprehensive about our creative capacity for evolution and transformation, and we come to perceive such endeavors as perilous. Fear serves as a constant reminder of our vulnerability to our superior and more enlightened selves.

Reflect on the numerous instances when you have harbored a fervent desire to make a meaningful impact on your life and fulfill your life’s purpose. Has fear catalyzed your endeavors? Has fear encouraged you to pursue your aspirations, asserting that you possess the creativity, empowerment, and intelligence necessary to achieve your goals? When was the last time you encountered such a supportive response to fear? Naturally, the answer is “Never.”

Fear likely expressed a similar sentiment to you: “You are incapable of doing that! What will others think? Furthermore, you are too incompetent. Recall all the previous instances of your failure? You do not wish to reveal your perceived inadequacy, do you?” In essence, fear suggests that the consequences will be severe. To ensure that these negative messages are effectively conveyed, this self-doubt is accompanied by distressing physical sensations of anxiety and worry, which are closely related to fear.

Fear primarily functions as an inhibitor. It is not a supportive entity. It prevents you from experiencing highly negative experiences, whether they are physical, mental, or emotional. Fear serves as a counterbalance to consciousness and evolution. When was the last time you made a sound decision based on fear? When was the last time you experienced clarity when acting from a foundation of fear? And at the most fundamental level, when was the last time you felt beautiful while experiencing fear? Have you observed that love is absent when feeling fear?

Therefore, let us abandon the notion that fear is an indispensable companion. Let us acknowledge it for what it truly is: an antiquated, obsolete, primitive aspect of our biology and consciousness. It compels us to engage in conflict akin to animals. It impairs our ability to maintain control and leads to irrational behavior. It diminishes our intelligence and effectiveness. Ultimately, it suppresses consciousness, love, and intelligence altogether. Fear is fundamentally incompatible with our higher selves.

Nevertheless, I experience fear in the face of the loss of a loved one, additional tragic events on Earth, and numerous other concerns. I recognize the necessity of learning to manage these fears, but how can I do so when I am continually reminded of dear friends passing away prematurely? Rest in peace, Garret and Cammi, Gary, Brent, and Shannon remain steadfast in their support for one another and cherish the memories they share. May I find the strength to release some of my fears, as they have a profound influence on our lives.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

I do not make my bed...

I’m at a low point, sensing my old friend Steve Quick feels the same. He suspended his blog. I see problems everywhere, and it seems hopeless. People are losing hope, and it seems that hope is being destroyed. Recently, a woman texted a man, “I won’t leave you,” then broke up with him and stopped contacting me. How can we trust people, especially when we think we know them and they betray us?

We’re not allowed to be ourselves in this world. Everyone preaches, but we can’t be ourselves. I’ve been reminded not to have an ugly sweater contest and chastised for saying Merry Christmas instead of “Happy Holidays.” Loved ones ask for my opinion and spend hours telling me how wrong I am. They ask for advice but don’t follow it, then ask the same question again. I give the same advice, and they do something different. I can respect their refusal to take my advice, but why ask me again? Frustration is at its peak.

Everyone complains about how I live. I chew too loudly, I’m deaf or stupid, my clothes are uncomfortable, I drive too slow or fast, I go to bed too early, I don’t clean up after myself, I walk too slow, I’m unhealthy, I need to get a life, I’m blind, and more. I think I can’t go a day without getting a verbal slap in the face.

Recently, I heard the 2014 University of Texas commencement speech from alumnus William H. McRaven, the commander of the U.S. Special Operations Command who organized the raid that killed Osama bin Laden. He provided 10 lessons in life; I will only add a few, as they were the most applicable, as I envision a marine who has been emotionally brought down to the lowest depths. 

Here are a few of the lessons:

Lesson – Make your bed

Every morning during basic SEAL training, my instructors, all Vietnam veterans, would inspect my neatly made bed. If done correctly, the corners were square, the covers were pulled tight, the pillow was centered, and the extra blanket was folded neatly at the foot. It was a simple task, but we had to make our beds perfectly every morning. It seemed ridiculous at the time, as we aspired to be real warriors, but the wisdom of this act has proven true.

Making your bed every morning accomplishes the day’s first task, giving you a sense of pride and encouraging you to do more. By the end of the day, it can lead to many tasks being completed. It also reinforces the importance of small things in life. Doing the little things right leads to doing the big things right. If you have a miserable day, a made bed encourages you that tomorrow will be better.

To change the world, start by making your bed.

  

Lesson – Have a BIG Heart

After weeks of tough training, my SEAL class dwindled from 150 to 35. We had six boat crews, each consisting of seven men. I was in the boat with the tall guys, but our best crew, the “munchkin crew,” consisted of six people who were under 5-foot-5. They included an American Indian, an African American, a Polish American, a Greek American, an Italian American, and two tough kids from the Midwest. The munchkin crew out-paddled, out-ran, and out-swam everyone else.

The big men in the other crews would joke about the munchkins’ tiny flippers before swimming. But somehow, these diverse individuals always had the last laugh—swimming faster and reaching the shore first.

SEAL training was a great equalizer. Success depended solely on will, not race, ethnicity, education, or social status. To change the world, measure a person by their heart, not their size.

Lesson – Keep Moving Forward

Instructors would frequently inspect the class’s uniforms. They ensured that hats were starched, uniforms were pressed, and belt buckles were polished to a shine. Despite efforts, instructors found flaws. To fail, students ran into the surf, got wet, and rolled in the sand until they were completely covered in it.

This “sugar cookie” experience left students cold, wet, and sandy for the rest of the day. Many couldn’t accept that their efforts were in vain and unappreciated. Those who didn’t understand the drill didn’t make it through training. They needed help understanding the purpose. You’d fail, and you’d never have a perfect uniform.

Sometimes, you still end up as a sugar cookie, no matter how well you prepare. It’s just life. To change the world, get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward.

  

Lesson  – Do not ring the bell

In SEAL training, a brass bell hangs in the compound’s center for all students to see. To quit, ring the bell and no longer wake up at 5, endure freezing swims, or do runs, obstacle courses, or PT. Ring the bell and end the hardships of training.

If you want to change the world, never ring the bell.

Start each day with a task completed.

Find someone to help you through life.

Respect everyone.

Life isn’t fair, and you’ll fail often. But take risks, step up when tough times come, face bullies, uplift the downtrodden, and never give up. The next generation will live in a better world. What started here will change the world for the better.

It was a great speech, full of many truths. I still don’t ring the bell, but I’ve poured my energy into it for the past three months. I made my bed yesterday. It may not have made a difference, but I’ll try again.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Irave and Irant but not about irac

Christmas, a compound word meaning Christ’s Mass, has been known by various names throughout history, including “midwinter,” “Nativity,” “Yule tide,” and “Day of Birth.” Recently, a workplace incident involving a “Ugly Sweater” contest led to a formal complaint of inappropriate behavior. As a result, the sweaters are now only referred to as “Holiday” sweaters. This incident highlights the absurdity of some people’s reactions to seemingly trivial matters.

Life has been a struggle for the past few months. I’m nearing 300 pounds and need to control my weight. Stress is high, and happiness is low. I’m having issues with people and carrying those issues on my shoulders. When you think you did well and everyone criticizes you, it makes it hard. Life isn’t fun right now!

I have a loved one who is struggling, and another adult is being rude and mean without reason. How can one person hurt another? Some things are beyond our understanding. I’ve also observed unnecessary killings, including terrorist attacks on innocents. I wonder if these acts contribute to a sense of apathy. For instance, the police killing of a young man in Chicago, portrayed as unjustified by the press, has made me question whether such acts desensitize people to violence.

It is concerning to note that if the individual in question had simply repeated the actions of others, including the police, the police would not have taken action. This raises questions about the extent to which social media and the press influence public perception and contribute to a culture of violence.

In a previous post earlier this year, I reported that I have more acquaintances who committed suicide in one year than I had known throughout my entire life. The reasons behind this phenomenon remain unclear, and it is unlikely that anyone will ever fully comprehend the complexities involved.

On a rainy afternoon yesterday, I pondered the reasons behind my current state of mind. I had never experienced such a profound sense of unhappiness before. I was known for my unwavering optimism, which often left others feeling overwhelmed by my unrealistic ambitions and perpetual cheerfulness. In particular, I was troubled by the feeling that life had passed me by, a sentiment that instilled a profound sense of fear within me.

When individuals are unhappy, they tend to engage in excessive contemplation about life. When their job is unfulfilling, they become disengaged and unhappy, often resorting to aimless browsing and generally lacking enjoyment in their surroundings.

When individuals are passionate about their work, studies, or hobbies, they become fully present, immersed in the experience. They are present but not preoccupied with thoughts, leading to happiness. They don’t seek escape; time is perceived as valuable and meaningful.

What can one do? First, slow down, avoid social media, and immerse oneself in the real world. I’ll try this and hope it leads to a happier 2016. 

Carry on my friends, carry on!