Christmas 2024

Shelley and I left early Sunday, December 22, and visited her father in Lincoln. The drive was windy, yet there were no issues with snow, ice, or rain. We arrived, checked into Staybridge Suites hotel at 2:00 PM, and unloaded before heading to Jon's. We arrived at Jon's by 3:00 PM, and Shelley and he went on a reminiscing drive. I went to Planet Fitness to work out.

At 5:00, we were back, opened gifts, and set up his frame before heading to the dining room for dinner. I don't know the dinner cost, but the food was marginal. Shelley and I had fried chicken, and finding the meat under the breading was hard.

Later, Shelley, Helen, and Jon sang some Christmas carols. I recorded their effort; I didn’t sing! It was late, and we were tired after a long day, with a long drive ahead tomorrow, so we returned to the hotel and called it a night.

On Monday the 23rd, we were up about 5:00 AM and packed. We planned breakfast with Jon before heading to Arkansas. The drive to Arkansas was simple, but it took longer than I had anticipated. We arrived in Fayetteville at 4:30 PM and proceeded to Tim's Pizza to pick up pizza for dinner.  

The kids were so excited to see Grammy. They jumped into the car and onto Grammy's lap before we reached the driveway. It started to rain, so we had to stay indoors with Tickle Monster and other activities. During the drive, we again tried to get to bed early and have a good night's sleep.

The next two days were filled with playing, opening more gifts than we could have imagined, and, of course, eating. Taylor made brisket that was smoked to absolute perfection! It was so enjoyable. Below are some holiday images.

On Christmas Eve, I sent serious emails to Jordan and Chris wishing them a Merry Christmas. For some reason, having no relationship with Chris bothered me, maybe because Taylor and Leslie were not aware of him more than he existed, and there was a conversation at the dinner table about Jacob. 

I decided to share the most profound song I ever wrote, in my opinion, with Chris.  I wrote it in 2006.  I believed he would read it and think it was also his life.  The song, "What's the matter with me?" is as follows.

Ask what's the matter

I have had a hard life

I’m placing the Don't Disturb sign on my door

I’ve lost my place in line again

Losing my life

I’ve never seem to want to smile anymore

I take the long way

Trying to find my soul

Riding a freight train

Off its track

And as my life continues without a single goal

Life seems gone, and I will never get it back

Here I am counting sheep once again

What's the point of trying to dream anymore

My heart is pounding hard with pain 

Drowning in the ocean, I can’t find the shore

I know my emotions 

Move at full speed

Moving in the wrong direction in this time of need

I take a few more bruises

And there will be many more

My life is lost as I head out the door 

I hide the truth

I am not happy

Wasted energy censoring my tears

Act like a crusader

Always on the right track

But I’m a lost man with knives in my back

I can’t take a moment

It is plain to see

Life races faster than it should be

All that matters

Is showing my happy lies

Clouded to hide my tear-filled eyes

Will someone please

Please tell me?

Is there hope of love and happiness for me

I can only wonder

How to set me free

I can’t find the answer

What's the matter with me

I can only wonder how to set me free

I can’t find the answer

What's the matter with me

It will be enjoyable as we prepare to close this trip and head home tomorrow. Leslie appreciated the time, as she started crying at the thought of us leaving. It will be nice to get home. However, this trip was less pleasing than the ones where I roamed at will and had no responsibility or expectations.

Carry on my friends, carry on!