Exercise emotions

Do you know that feeling of guilt when you’ve planned a workout, like riding your bike to work, but don’t follow through because your mind tells you, “You’re tired”? It’s a common sentiment we all experience when we intend to exercise but lose motivation or something interferes with our training schedule. However, some people find it challenging to overcome this guilty conscience or skip exercising for a day or two. You might have heard a friend describe someone as “addicted” to exercising or “completely dependent” on working out for several hours every day. 

Parents, peers, the media, and scientific literature consistently promote the benefits of exercise for our physical and mental well-being. However, it’s rarely discussed that exercise can become unhealthy when it becomes a compulsive habit. I know individuals who would consider their lives over if they didn’t start their day with a 10K or some other form of exercise, followed by another form at lunch, and then an evening effort. I’ve been there, and my mind still believes I’m there, but my body says something entirely different.

Things are different, especially with my right knee and the pain I’ve been experiencing. I was certain that after my 29th consecutive grandma’s marathon, the pain would flare up and be excruciating. However, I was mistaken. In fact, after a few days, the entire body felt amazing. Nevertheless, I continued to allow the body to heal. After three weeks of rest, I embarked on three 50-mile bike rides within eight days, and I even included a few 36-mile rides. Surprisingly, the right knee pain is still relatively high. It doesn’t make sense to me. Is it a delayed reaction from the marathon? There are too many bike miles too soon. Regardless, it’s frustrating when the mind tells me, “You’re doing great,” while the body insists that I get crutches and stay in bed. 

Could it be that I need the exercise to maintain my body’s functionality? Could I push myself too hard and then crash, leading to a binge-and-purge exercise approach? Could this be more than just an unusual exercise addiction? I’m not sure, but I’ve been without the positive energy from a regular workout for too long, and my body is literally in pain! So, could it be that I need to regroup and stop having that “I need to get that done or else” attitude? That will be challenging!

Don’t get me wrong. This is indeed a “positive addiction” to exercising, meaning that the exercise routine can easily be incorporated into my daily life and allows for commitments to family, friends, work, and personal time. However, it’s essential to be aware that there’s a fine line between a healthy commitment to exercising and a perceived obligation and compulsion to adhere to a specific training regimen.

Exercise, known for its benefits to mental and physical health, can have the opposite effect if done excessively, regardless of whether it’s recreational or professional. Hippocrates wisely noted that providing the right amount of exercise, neither too little nor too much, would ensure optimal health.

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!

G. M. O.

What is GMO?

Government Managing Office? No, it has something to do with the government, but not that agency. General Molly, Inc. (Stock selling for about $1.70 a share)? They are in the business of exploring, developing, and mining molybdenum properties.

Many of the foods we eat may contain ingredients derived from genetically modified organisms (GMOs). Are Genetically Modified (GM) foods safe or harmful? While regulatory authorities have approved GM food for the market, some people are concerned about the risk of harm. If you live in Europe, avoiding GM foods is easier since laws require labeling. In the US and Canada, however, food manufacturers are not required to label whether their food is genetically modified. Is it a coincidence that obesity is less of an issue outside the US and Canada?

As someone without a scientific background, my knowledge is primarily derived from personal experience. The more I contemplate genetically modified organisms (GMOs), the more I am reminded of my grandfather. He was in excellent health and lived well into his 100s. He consumed minimal processed foods and cultivated his own produce. He raised chickens, cows, and pigs on grass, avoiding the use of chemicals. He maintained a 1-acre garden and engaged in extensive canning. Fortunately, he consumed little or no GMOs or processed foods. Remarkably, he even made his own ice cream!

Conversely, I observe that my mother’s side of the family generally relies on dining out or consuming processed foods extensively. Regrettably, neither of them lived beyond the age of 70 and experienced numerous health issues.

Since April 13, 2013, I have dedicated considerable time to monitoring the food I consume. I diligently read labels and took the initiative to research complex terms on some labels. Here are a few examples and the pertinent information I discovered:

Coloring agents, including Blue 1, Blue 2, Yellow 5, and Yellow 6, are commonly used in various food products, such as cakes, candies, macaroni and cheese, medicines, sports drinks, sodas, pet food, and cheese. The United States permits the use of these agents due to the influence of visual perception on our eating habits. Recent studies have demonstrated that when food manufacturers opt to leave foods in their natural, often beige-like color, rather than using chemical agents for coloring, individuals perceive the food as bland and consume less of it, even when the recipe remains unchanged.

Furthermore, coloring agents derived from coal tar are also employed for sealing and coating products to preserve and protect the shine of industrial floors, as well as in head lice shampoos to eliminate the small insects. Interestingly, these coloring agents are also ingested.

We also have Olestra (also known as Olean). I never knew this nut was the most common ingredient in fat-free potato chips. The US allows this because Procter & Gamble Co. spent a quarter of a century and half a billion dollars to create “light” chips that are supposedly healthier. Is this just lobbyist work? They might need another half a billion dollars to figure out how to deal with the embarrassing bathroom side effects (including oily anal leakage) that come with consuming these products.

The known health hazard is that fat substitutes appear to cause a dramatic depletion of fat-soluble vitamins and essential micronutrients, robbing us of vital nutrients. The U.K. and Canada have banned it.

I was surprised to learn about Bronated vegetable oil (also known as BVO). It’s found in sports drinks and citrus-flavored sodas. The US allows this because it acts as an emulsifier, preventing the flavoring from separating and floating to the surface of beverages. However, it’s a health hazard because it competes with iodine for receptor sites in the body. Elevated levels of BVO may lead to thyroid issues, such as hypothyroidism, autoimmune disease, and cancer. That’s not all. BVO’s main ingredient, bromine, is a poisonous chemical considered both corrosive and toxic. It’s been linked to significant organ system damage, birth defects, growth problems, schizophrenia, and hearing loss, which explains why it’s been banned in more than 100 countries.

In the past, I believed that potassium was always beneficial on food labels. However, I recently discovered that potassium bromate (also known as brominated flour) is a common ingredient in various food products, including rolls, wraps, flatbreads, bread crumbs, and bagel chips. The United States permits the use of this flour-bulking agent to enhance dough strength, thereby reducing baking time and lowering production costs. However, I am concerned about the potential health risks associated with this additive.

Potassium bromate is manufactured using the same toxic chemical found in brominated vegetable oil (BVO). This additive has been linked to kidney and nervous system disorders, as well as gastrointestinal discomfort.

I had to verify the presence of azodicarbonamide twice. This chemical is commonly used in breads, frozen dinners, boxed pasta mixes, and packaged baked goods. While most countries allow flour to whiten naturally over a week, American food processors prefer to use azodicarbonamide to bleach the flour immediately. I read that this chemical is highly harmful, and banning it in Singapore is insufficient. In Singapore, individuals found guilty of using azodicarbonamide can face up to 15 years in prison and be fined nearly half a million dollars. This chemical is primarily used in foamed plastics, such as yoga mats and sneaker soles, and has been linked to an increased risk of asthma.

There are many more additives that raise concerns. This has made me reconsider the food I purchase and the preservatives that contribute to the accumulation of unhealthy substances in my body. Do you take the time to read food labels?

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!

Fireworks 2.0

In 2012, I made my first attempt at fireworks photography. While I was pleased with the results, I felt that the photos could have been improved. In 2013, I believe I made progress. Although there’s still room for improvement to achieve those perfect shots, I dedicated the week before to planning my shoot. I considered the ideal location, background, and foreground elements. After making my decision, I patiently awaited favorable weather conditions. I think the location was suitable, although the lake was so filled with scum that the reflection didn’t meet my expectations.

Below are some examples of my efforts.

 I’m thoroughly enjoying the photo-taking experience. I perceive things differently and notice details I hadn’t noticed before when I look at them from a global perspective—not a world-like perspective, but rather focusing on the details in the subject, the foreground, and the background. Imagine how the contrast, composition, and relationship between these elements create the perfect photo. I hope to improve my skills in 2014. That’s always the best goal we can have in life—to improve and be content with our progress.

So, I’m eagerly anticipating spending a significant portion of Friday on the Superior Trail 100-mile hike. I’ll be using my newfound visualization skills to identify areas where I can enhance my ability to convey a story in a single snapshot by effectively utilizing the subject, foreground, and background. I hope to succeed, but even if I don’t, I’m excited about the journey itself!

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!

Photography

Since I quit tennis officiating in December 2011, I’ve been on the lookout for a new hobby. Photography has been a real joy for me. While there’s a certain skill level required to capture great photos, sometimes you’re simply in the right place at the right time, and the shot just clicks. The two images below weren’t planned; they just happened spontaneously without any elaborate setup or planning.

 Then you see other photos and think, "Were these staged or accidental?"  Like, below are totally innocent but look a little inappropriate:

 And then those that are set up and just cool!

From my perspective, I recognize the vast amount of knowledge I possess, yet time is limited. However, this sense of uncertainty and the unknown contribute to the enjoyment of life. It is akin to participating in a marathon or an ultramarathon, where very little remains constant. This unpredictability aligns perfectly with my approach to life. I continually strive to improve my thinking and actions. I believe that achieving the pinnacle of excellence would render it challenging to discern future possibilities. Consequently, I find fulfillment in being one of the millionth best at my chosen endeavors.

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!

29 down, any more to go?

29 years ago, I aimed to run Grandma’s and Twin Cities Marathon for 25 consecutive years. The postal service mistakenly returned my Twin Cities entry after the 13th race, and it was not entered, so I focused on Grandma’s.

As I neared the 25th year, I considered quitting. My son encouraged me to run with him in the 26th race. I planned to run 5.24 miles and stop, achieving 26.2 consecutive finishes. However, my son insisted on running the entire race with me, making it a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Thus, my goal expanded to 30 straight finishes.  

The 29th consecutive completion of Grandma’s marathon has been achieved. During the week leading up to the race, I initially underestimated the significance of the 5-mile training run on June 15th, as it was my first run since Grandma’s 2012 marathon. Given the poor performance of that run, I decided to resume training on Wednesday, June 19^th, with a 4-mile run that left me feeling exhausted. This year, I was particularly concerned about my ability to complete the marathon and recognized the importance of mental fortitude. I believed that I had a good understanding of my body and capabilities. Consequently, I informed Shelley that I would aim to run 12:30-minute miles for the first hour, gradually slowing my pace each subsequent hour until I averaged a 15-minute mile by the end of the race.

On Friday, I left for Duluth at 12:30 PM alone. Shelley had commitments in Lincoln, Nebraska, and my sister couldn’t attend the race. I arrived at 4:30 PM (due to traffic) and retrieved my race packet. To calm my nerves, I strolled around Canal Park. After assessing my clothing, I bought gloves and sleeves, which were helpful during the race.

That night, I slept in my Smart Car for the first time. I brought five pillows, a blanket, and stuffed the area between the seats with cushions. I put my legs in the passenger area and stretched my body across the 5-foot space. Despite the challenge, I slept well, aided by two Advil PMs.

The forecast predicted a dismal race with cold, rain, and heavy winds, possibly snow. Thankfully, snow didn’t occur. We may have had sleet if the winds had come from the lake, but they were from the northeast, so there was no lake breeze.

I arrived at the train station and prepared for the race. The race went as planned. In the first hour, I averaged 12:24 minutes per mile (planned 12:30). After the second hour, I was at 12:49 minutes per mile (planned 13:00). I felt good, but I decided to avoid cramps and fatigue and stick to the plan. I held back and walked to stay on track. I finished with a 15:02 average, four minutes better than last year. I felt good and even jogged to the drop bags and car. The drive home was challenging due to fog in Duluth, which cleared when I passed Cloquet.

On April 13, 2013, I visited a nutritionist and followed her advice. I haven’t weighed myself since then, but I’m disappointed to have lost an average of 2.4 pounds a week (24 pounds). Is this a healthy rate? In 2006, I lost an average of 4.3 pounds a week for the first 10 weeks. I need to be patient.

Now, I’m recovering and hope to return to biking and taking my 18-mile commute to work in the next few days!

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

SteveQ

Congrats on the finish!  24 pounds is significant, especially for 10 weeks!  Sunday, June 23, 2013 at 1:28:04 PM CDT

Here we go again!

Some individuals never have the opportunity to complete a marathon, which is a foot race of 26.2 miles. According to the record books, only 0.5 percent of Americans have finished a marathon. In 2011, there were 551,811 marathon finishers in the United States. It is also stated that the average person trains for 40 miles weekly for the marathon. If I were a novice, I would concur with this statement. 

However, after participating in more than 60 marathons or races of greater distance, I discontinued my training and ran one marathon annually. This has been going on for over 30 consecutive years, starting in June. If I am successful, it will be a positive outcome. If not, it won't be very pleasant. For more than half of my life, I have been undertaking this annual trek. I am contemplating quitting, but I am also determined to continue. I find it challenging to comprehend human behavior.

It has been over a month since I last updated this site. Humans often have noble intentions, but they rarely achieve their goals. This may be a common occurrence, but it concerns me. Is this a result of embarrassment that I am not making progress? Is it a consequence of being preoccupied? Is it a product of excessive thoughts and a lack of organization? One aspect of me believes that life is indifferent to our endeavors, so why bother writing? Regardless of the outcome, any effort is preferable to inaction.

My relationship remains essentially unchanged. I’m not sure why we keep going, but she works different hours. I usually leave for work around 7:00 AM, and she leaves at 9:00 AM. I get home around 5:30, and she’s home around 7:00. I’m not a fan of eating dinner at 8:00 PM, and she loves to cook. On weekends, she used to enjoy working on the lawn, and I wish there weren’t a lawn to maintain. I’m also unsure what happens during intimate moments. She always complains of being sore, and her face appears as though she’s in pain. It makes everything less enjoyable. Of the last six times, she was in pain three times and laughed when we finished. That’s great for her ego! I don’t understand her!

For the past few months, I’ve been following a specific diet: no dairy, no gluten, and very little processed food. I feel better, but I’m not sure if I’m losing much weight. I haven’t weighed myself since April 13, when I was 289 pounds. Gaining 289 pounds of fat was really tough. I’ll weigh myself next week to see what I’ve lost. It could be happy or sad, but I expect something in between. I’ve been working hard and dieting hard, so I’m just wondering if it’s all worth it!

Carry on my friends!

What is today?

Today’s Father’s Day is a day to honor fathers, celebrate fatherhood, and acknowledge their societal impact. Its meaning varies for each person, much like Mother’s Day. I’d like to ask: What does Father’s Day mean to you?

Is it a lunch, socks, a tie, or a humorous card about your father’s age? Commercialism suggests it’s all of the above, and more if they can sell it. It’s like Christmas, with an effort and a last-minute rush to buy something to show appreciation.

Of course, there are good and bad fathers, and my father was the latter. It’s been about 30 years, and I’m unsure if I’ve forgiven him. The father’s role is challenging. I have a son and a daughter. Fathers often project a tough exterior, pretending nothing bothers us, as it’s expected. We’re the family’s foundation, and we shouldn’t delegate this role. I’ve let a family fail and delegated fatherhood. As a father, I often hide my pain, but it usually manifests as anger. I blame myself for my perceived failures and try to compensate, but life seems to repeat itself. My father and I differ in that I tried, but I don’t know how well either of us succeeded.

Am I a perfect father? No, I lacked an excellent role model and often tried to emulate my father’s actions. A bad father doesn’t fail occasionally; they fail to try. I quit celebrating Father's Day the day my Grandfather died. He was the best, well, only father I recall having. 

I have no idea how my father did not learn from him. They were opposites. They say that happens. When you are unhappy with your upbringing, you tend to do the opposite. My father, who grew up in poverty, was renowned for his success in portraying in his chosen field.

I still wonder if I did a good job. My son is like me, except for his anger toward his father. He treats Father’s Day like any other day because he makes me feel like it’s Father’s Day 335 days a year. (We have occasional issues.)

As a father, I’ve succeeded and failed, and it’s too late to change. I hope my son learns more about fatherhood than his predecessors. Regardless of a parent’s decision in raising a child, there’s always a wrong answer, as each child is unique.

With that, Happy Father's Day, Grandpa. I miss you so much; you have been gone for over 15 years!

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!

Update

For most of my adult life, I experienced mild and easily ignored symptoms of gastrointestinal distress. I had occasional bouts of acid reflux, which prompted me to start taking nightly acid reducers around 1997. I also had occasional stomach bloating and diarrhea, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, I noticed that my memory was gradually deteriorating, which I attributed to the natural effects of aging and increased busyness.

In late 2007, I began experiencing frequent respiratory illnesses. Minor colds would escalate into more severe cases, and I soon found myself battling bronchitis and major sinus infections several times a year. Year after year, I became increasingly fatigued and unwell. My condition worsened to the point where I would fall ill every other month. Antibiotics and steroids became a regular part of my medical routine.

In mid-2010, my condition reached a critical point, resulting in a minor infection of the brain. The discovery of this infection was made through a CAT scan, which was ordered due to my vision problems. I would wake up in the morning, and my vision would return after 15 minutes. However, I would also experience blindness when lying down for an extended period.

This was after years of severe and debilitating sickness that went beyond the usual respiratory infections. Despite numerous doctors, expensive tests, and no one finding a cause, they kept saying, “We can’t find anything wrong…” and sent me off with new prescriptions to mask my symptoms.

As my condition worsened, my energy levels dropped, and I turned to comfort foods. Bread, cheese, pasta, cake, chips, and cookies were my go-to choices. Little did I realize at the time that I was inadvertently perpetuating the vicious cycle.

After three years of regular doses of antibiotics and Prednisone (including Black Box drugs like Levoquin), I hoped surgery would help. It stabilized my issues but didn’t resolve them. Doctors diagnosed me with various conditions, including Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), stress, fibromyalgia, depression, and Colitis. They prescribed a wide range of medications to manage the growing list of symptoms. I consulted about a half dozen different primary care, allergy, GI, Urology, and Cardiology doctors. Despite their efforts, no one could pinpoint the root cause of my distress, but they certainly enjoyed prescribing medications. They kept adding more and more until I was taking several different medications. However, it seemed they were more interested in treating the symptoms rather than addressing the underlying issue.

So, I kept searching for my own solutions. I consulted a reputable nutritionist. During my initial visit, as I began sharing my medical history, she was furiously writing in her chart, completely ignoring me, until I mentioned “gluten intolerance.” She paused writing, looked up at me, and closed her chart. She listened for a moment longer before stating that she believes I have gluten intolerance. Consequently, on April 21, I was instructed to attempt a gluten-free diet. On May 18, I realized that I wasn’t following the diet correctly and suggested that I focus more on my efforts.

When I decided to give up gluten that rainy morning in April, I almost burst into tears in the kitchen. Partly, I believed that this was the root cause of my illness and that I could soon recover. Partly, I feared that if this “gluten issue” were indeed the problem, I would never be able to enjoy my favorite foods, such as bread, pasta, and cake, again.

Despite these fears, I persevered and decided to give it a try. I had limited research and no planning before embarking on my gluten-free diet (a significant mistake!). I jumped into the deep end and went cold turkey. And let me tell you, the first three days were incredibly challenging. I believe it was the withdrawal from gluten that caused these difficulties, but during those initial days, I felt much worse: migraines, aches, sweats, and mental confusion. The pain under my arms was so intense that I convinced myself I had some severe lymph node disease, or even worse!

And then, on day 4, I began to feel slightly better, just a bit. On day 5, the aches began to ease slightly. Within two weeks, I felt incredibly better! For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t weak, shaky, and exhausted (no more than an active mom to a five-year-old would be). There were no gastrointestinal issues. I could tell you some stories that would make you want to vomit! Pun intended. There were no extreme mood swings, no sudden anger, and no overwhelming anxiety (I used to lie awake at night, unable to sleep, constantly thinking, “Something’s wrong, something’s wrong, something’s wrong!”). Within a day of going gluten-free, my mind felt calm, and things seemed… okay, reasonable, and maybe even a little positive… for the first time in a long, LONG time.

I think I’m losing weight, but I haven’t weighed myself since April. Before that, I was 292 pounds. I’m not sure when I’ll weigh myself next most likely after Grandma’s Marathon. Who knew that simply not doing something could make you feel better? By avoiding gluten, I’m feeling better than I have in years. By merely eating what my body craves and consciously avoiding what my body rejects, I achieved something that no amount of medication could: I made myself truly well.

I’ve been seeing a nutritionist regularly, which should be helpful. Initially skeptical due to negative experiences with other doctors who dismissed food as a root cause, I was impressed by her attentiveness during my first appointment. She listened for nearly three hours, understood my concerns, recognized symptoms, and provided valuable insights. I likely have had this condition for my entire life, but it has worsened since pregnancy. I should’ve never taken the acid-reducing medication. The acid reflux was likely caused by my body’s intolerance to certain foods. Taking the medication masked the problem, allowing it to escalate. I’ll wait and see what the next few months bring. Stay tuned!

I also visited my son in Colorado. We had a lot of disagreements, and at one point, he threatened suicide. It’s concerning that a 24-year-old who is very successful would have such thoughts. As a father, there’s nothing worse than the fear of having raised a less-than-positive son. I worry so much!

On a positive note, my work situation has improved. I’m now working about 50 hours a week, which has been beneficial.

It is time to sign off, but I hope things improve!!!

Carry on my friends!