What is today?

Today’s Father’s Day is a day to honor fathers, celebrate fatherhood, and acknowledge their societal impact. Its meaning varies for each person, much like Mother’s Day. I’d like to ask: What does Father’s Day mean to you?

Is it a lunch, socks, a tie, or a humorous card about your father’s age? Commercialism suggests it’s all of the above, and more if they can sell it. It’s like Christmas, with an effort and a last-minute rush to buy something to show appreciation.

Of course, there are good and bad fathers, and my father was the latter. It’s been about 30 years, and I’m unsure if I’ve forgiven him. The father’s role is challenging. I have a son and a daughter. Fathers often project a tough exterior, pretending nothing bothers us, as it’s expected. We’re the family’s foundation, and we shouldn’t delegate this role. I’ve let a family fail and delegated fatherhood. As a father, I often hide my pain, but it usually manifests as anger. I blame myself for my perceived failures and try to compensate, but life seems to repeat itself. My father and I differ in that I tried, but I don’t know how well either of us succeeded.

Am I a perfect father? No, I lacked an excellent role model and often tried to emulate my father’s actions. A bad father doesn’t fail occasionally; they fail to try. I quit celebrating Father's Day the day my Grandfather died. He was the best, well, only father I recall having. 

I have no idea how my father did not learn from him. They were opposites. They say that happens. When you are unhappy with your upbringing, you tend to do the opposite. My father, who grew up in poverty, was renowned for his success in portraying in his chosen field.

I still wonder if I did a good job. My son is like me, except for his anger toward his father. He treats Father’s Day like any other day because he makes me feel like it’s Father’s Day 335 days a year. (We have occasional issues.)

As a father, I’ve succeeded and failed, and it’s too late to change. I hope my son learns more about fatherhood than his predecessors. Regardless of a parent’s decision in raising a child, there’s always a wrong answer, as each child is unique.

With that, Happy Father's Day, Grandpa. I miss you so much; you have been gone for over 15 years!

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!