Top looking down see shit, bottom looking up see assholes

I never gave that quote much thought. When you think about it, it perfectly encapsulates the disparity between economic classes in the United States. Essentially, it suggests that the top-level individuals are constantly defecating, and this waste falls on the lower-level individuals. When they look down at the lower-level individuals, they see waste. Conversely, when lower-level individuals look up, they can’t help but see the individuals responsible for the waste. For a long time now, I’ve felt like a lower-level individual. When it comes to my son, he will reach out to me when he wants something. I make an effort to call him frequently, and he usually responds. Sometimes, I feel like I’ve failed miserably.

In my relationship, my girlfriend is much like a friend. We live together, but we could always end up apart, and I don’t think we would notice the difference. It all just seems a bit strange.

The new diet begins on the 12th day. I feel much better; I no longer crave sugar or other types of sweets that I usually indulge in. I’m not weighing myself at all, as I’ll wait until the day before my follow-up nutritionist appointment on May 18th. I’m preparing for a 10-day vacation, which is actually a break from my job that I've taken since 2000. Of course, when I’m gone, I’ll have my laptop and phone, and I’m sure I’ll put in at least 20 hours’ worth of work during my time off.

I’ve been chewing a lot of chewable vitamin C every night. I’m still figuring out if it’s making me feel better or if it’s just a temporary fix, but it has some benefits. I’ve also been taking fish oil, vitamin D, magnesium, Bifidobacteria, and L-glutamine, and those have made a difference too. I don’t feel as fatigued as I did before I started taking these supplements. The fact that I’m getting better is even more encouraging because I know that removing preservatives from my diet and excluding all cheese and dairy have made a significant difference. I’m confident that once I lose weight, a lot of my health issues will improve. Even though I’m aware of this, I feel like I’m being a fool and not putting in the effort I need to lose weight. Oh well, here I am, stuck in real life forever!

Work has become less stressful, but I’m still really upset about the people I work with. I’m an older person who believes it’s appropriate to show up a few minutes early and leave a few minutes late. However, several people at my office think the 8:00 AM start time means 8:15 or 8:20. They often get ready to turn off their computers at 4:15 and head out the door. They also take 90-minute lunches just because the boss isn’t looking. It hurts morale, but I’m not sure what I can do about it. It just makes me so frustrated that I could scream!

We had another snowstorm yesterday! I am getting sick of the snow. When will it end!

Carry on, my friends!

Is there an answer

On Saturday, April 13, I engaged in a three-hour consultation with a nutritionist. I could have extended the session to double the duration, as there is a substantial amount of knowledge I still need to acquire. During our discussion, we thoroughly reviewed my medical history, encompassing all the medications I have taken over the past decade. The nutritionist concluded that I likely suffer from a severe intestinal disorder, which is attributed to the excessive use of antibiotics, prednisone, and other medications between 2007 and 2011. Additionally, the condition was exacerbated by my ongoing steroid treatment for asthma and a sinus issue.

As a result of our conversation, I have been prescribed nutritional supplements designed to restore a healthy balance of intestinal bacteria. The dietary regimen is flexible, but I will consume a sufficient quantity of food in appropriate proportions. The diet eliminates all sugars and gluten, specifically processed sugars, not natural sugars found in fruits.

I have now been adhering to the diet for two days, and I have not experienced significant improvements. I prefer to describe it as a controlled eating approach rather than a strict diet. I consume the diet approximately every three hours throughout the day. Furthermore, I supplement my meals with vitamins and minerals to maintain a healthy intestinal balance.

Tomorrow, I will engage in an effective workout and maintain a balanced diet. While I acknowledge some progress, it is primarily attributed to the psychological impact of the nutritionist’s guidance and the newfound energy I have experienced.

The nutritionist’s teachings have been invaluable, particularly in the preparation of protein bars and other nutritious foods. The versatility of natural ingredients is genuinely remarkable, yet often overlooked.

If I can shed some weight, my outlook appears promising. We will approach this journey incrementally, observing the outcomes.

I am experiencing a sense of anticipation as I embark on my first vacation in a considerable amount of time, which is approximately three weeks away. I will be absent from the office for seven workdays, encompassing two weekends, which is the longest period I have been away since I can recall. My last similar trip was in 1999 when I visited Hawaii. However, upon my return, the office environment deteriorated, and I no longer felt comfortable taking such extended time off.

Today’s workday was only eight and a half hours long, which left me feeling underproductive and somewhat constrained. Despite this, I managed to sleep slightly better than usual last night. My alarm malfunctioned, so I slept until 7:00 AM. I arrived at work at 7:58 AM, narrowly avoiding being late. This is a significant letdown for someone who typically arrives at the office before 7:00 AM (first in) and departs after 6:00 PM (last out). It is disheartening to be proud of such a situation, and I must take steps to improve my lifestyle.

Carry on my friends!

Intestinal Health?

Yesterday I spent three hours with a nutritionist. We discussed my medical history, including all the medications I’ve taken. She diagnosed me with a severe intestinal disorder. We believe this is the result of the antibiotics, prednisone, and other medications I used from 2007 to 2011. Additionally, the continuous use of a nasal spray steroid for my sinus issues has worsened the condition.

To address this, she prescribed a few nutritional supplements to restore the intestinal bacteria and a strict diet. I want to clarify that this doesn’t mean I have to count calories or meticulously monitor my food intake. Instead, I have specific food groups, some of which I can eat in unlimited amounts, while others require daily limits. Today was the first day, and I needed assistance in consuming the recommended amounts of each food group. These are my traditional farm meals, which exclude pasta, cheese, and milk.

Furthermore, I’ll be tracking my fatigue levels, chest congestion, sleep patterns, hunger periods, and other non-food-related data.

This makes sense based on the subsequent reading. If I eat a lot of food but get minimal nutritional value, it’s because my digestive system isn’t functioning correctly. This prevents the body from absorbing the necessary vitamins and nutrients, and it also doesn’t produce the nutrients that make me feel good.

Another symptom that strongly suggests this is an actual issue is that when I eat and the food isn’t being processed, my bowel movements increase. It’s not uncommon for me to have four or more bowel movements daily. This makes sense if the food isn’t flowing through my digestive system properly or if I’m not getting the right amount of nutrients. This could explain why I’m always tired, hungry, and gaining weight.

She said the bacteria in my GI tract are often overlooked and misunderstood components of weight loss and longevity. Inadequate or problematic intestinal flora can lead to various weight and health issues. She asked several questions, and I answered yes many times.

1. Do you get stomach bloat after eating carbs? 
2. Is your fat consumption relatively low, but you still have a protruding stomach? 
3. Do you not seem to recover well after exercise?

Below is a helpful handout that graphically illustrates what I believe is the issue.

Gut flora refers to the delicate balance of microbes and ‘germs’ in the human gut (stomach, small and large intestines, colon). It’s a communal relationship where only one side benefits (the human).

There are billions of gut flora bacterial cells, comprising over 400 strains. Stomach bacteria can weigh up to 22 lbs! Many stomach bacteria have been identified, but several types remain to be explored due to their resistance to culturing techniques. 

The problem is that many types of intestinal flora can't survive outside the warm, incubating human body and can't be studied alive.

I inquired about the role of the flora in our stomach and intestines and their connection to weight loss, fitness, and overall health. I discovered an explanation: “Many of the bacteria in our gut work symbiotically within the human body. The composition of our intestinal bacteria influences various physiological processes, including our immune system, carbohydrate digestion, the prevention of irritable bowel syndrome, nutrient absorption, energy production, and more.

For weight loss and fitness, proper nutrition is crucial for achieving and maintaining a lean and fit physique. Our intestinal flora has a significant impact on the assimilation and absorption of the food we consume. However, an equally important aspect that is often overlooked is the influence of our diet on the composition of our intestinal flora.

One example is the excessive consumption of sugar. Certain bacteria within our gut thrive on a high-sugar diet, most notably Candida Albicans. If you experience bloating in your lower abdomen after consuming sugar, it may indicate a Candida bloom. These bacteria produce endotoxins, which are poisonous substances that reside within the bacteria themselves. When these bacteria die, the toxins they contain flood into your body, triggering an immune response. If you’ve ever felt nauseous after consuming sugar, the endotoxins released from unhealthy gut bacteria are likely the cause. This is just one example demonstrating that if you want to lose weight, stay fit, and maintain a lean physique for life, you must not ignore the influence of the microorganisms residing in your gut.”

A good article: http://chriskresser.com/a-healthy-gut-is-the-hidden-key-to-weight-loss

If she’s correct, it’s time to recover from long-term prescription antibiotics and steroids. She said it may take six months and to be patient. I’ve been searching for years. The physician gave me antibiotics, steroids, and allergy medicine. This may or may not be the answer. I finally understand why it makes sense.

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!

Chunky

I attempted running on Saturday, but it was an unpleasant experience. It’s hard to believe that I’m the same person who completed over 50 marathons and several ultra-marathons spanning over 50 miles. In less than four years, I’ve transformed into the epitome of a sedentary couch potato. However, last year, I managed to bike over 4,000 miles and walk hundreds of miles, so I suppose I’ve tried my best. It’s just been a peculiar few years, and I feel out of sync with life. I’m not quite myself, whoever that is.

I’m at a loss for answers. I’ve tried various methods, including the Livestrong diet tracker, Spark People, and the USDA food site. I’ve meticulously monitored my diet and ensured I get enough sleep. For years, I’ve resisted taking essential medications, believing that treating myself naturally would be sufficient. Unfortunately, this approach didn’t work, and I fell ill. Prednisone and Levaquin were the only medications that alleviated my symptoms, but they have adverse effects on the body. When I felt unwell, I let my body heal itself, and it did.

What’s the issue with ME? Is it a B-12 deficiency? Is it a problem with my stomach acid? I’m at a loss for answers and don’t know what to do, even if I did. I take numerous vitamins, yet I still can’t seem to get it right. I’m a nervous wreck! Life is incredibly frustrating.

Unfortunately, I feel this way. I don’t want to feel this way! My work life is a significant factor in this. I detest going to work every day, and I work 10-12 hour days. I average over 60 hours per week and never feel satisfied with my productivity. I’ve made mistakes.

I’m willing to pay $680 for a professional to examine my situation and attempt to restore my health thoroughly. I wish I could figure it out on my own, but it’s time to seek professional help. We’ll see how it goes, as my appointment is scheduled for Saturday.

Carry on my friends!

Baby Beluga sighting in Apple Valley!

Well, I finally did it! For the past two years, I’ve been running Grandma’s Marathon, which is the only running I’ve ever completed. My training consisted solely of walking and biking. Yesterday, I decided to go for a run, and it was an absolute nightmare! I managed to run over a 13-minute mile. I’ve been dealing with a lot of mucus lately, and my chest has been congested. I was breathing so hard and hacking; it was just a shame. If anyone had heard me, they might have called 911.

I felt like the picture below.

Despite the pain, I’m determined to do this again. It’s the best way to get back into shape. I’ve registered for Grandma’s Marathon this year once more. If I can finish the race, this will be the 29th consecutive year I’ve done so. I’m not particularly excited about doing that race again, though. It’s still a good race, but I’m tired of going up there and running it. It’s lost all its luster and is no longer any fun. I drive up the night before, sleep in my car from the face, and then come home.

I’m also planning to consult a nutritionist to understand why I’ve gained weight despite meticulously tracking my food intake and maintaining a balanced diet of 1,800-2,200 calories, coupled with at least 500 calories of exercise daily. There might be an underlying issue related to long-term Prednisone and antibiotic use. I’ve read that these medications can disrupt digestion and affect metabolism. The only plausible explanation is that I’m not consuming enough food.

For 2013, I’ve decided to attempt my goal of commuting at least 3,000 miles to and from work on a bicycle. The distance varies depending on my chosen route, ranging from 17.3 to 20.4 miles. Occasionally, the 20.4-mile ride becomes more manageable when the wind is strong from the south. On the other hand, 17.3 miles is primarily on main roads, which can be less safe. The most comfortable and safe ride, especially when the wind is low, is 17.8 miles. Therefore, I need to complete 85-88 days of commuting.

Unlike last year, when the temperature was 70° on St. Patrick’s Day, we’re already in April and have experienced snowfall on Friday. This means I won’t be able to make as much progress towards my goal this year as I did last year. However, last year, I fell short by only four commutes. That was quite disheartening. Nevertheless, it’s a reality that I must accept.

My girlfriend and I decided to visit Colorado in early May. She’ll fly back after spending three days there, while I’ll spend an additional six days helping my son clean up and build a desk. My son plans to take a trip to Europe after school ends and then return to a nice job for the summer. This will be the perfect opportunity for me to spend some quality time with him before he embarks on a busy summer. During my visit, we’ll also look at new road bikes that I might get him so he can ride to work if he chooses. He currently uses my 1985 Cannondale SR 400 bicycle, which is in good condition but may not be as safe and reliable as a new road bike.

Shelley recently purchased a new bike. It’s absolutely beautiful! It’s a women’s Felt ZW4 equipped with Shimano 105 components. I’m eagerly looking forward to 60 miles of rides this summer. She’ll effortlessly handle this bike. It glides smoothly, and the shifting is seamless.

It’s been 15 months since I quit officiating tennis. I occasionally miss it, but overall, I don’t miss the politics of sports officiating. It’s challenging to officiate sports when the politics and favoritism of specific individuals sometimes influence the outcome. Officiating is becoming a lost sport where you can rely on doing the right thing without constant ridicule.

I will never do sports officiating again. I have been repeatedly asked to return to tennis and other sports, but it's no longer in me. I did sports officiating because it made me feel good about what I was doing, and I enjoyed it. That went away, again, primarily because of the politics of a few people who think they are above the rules. In one way, sports officiating is losing out on someone with a great passion for it, but the ultra-running world is gaining someone who enjoys volunteering and helping out at these wonderful races.

As mentioned earlier, I’ll meet with my sports nutritionist next Saturday. I’ll be familiar with her for about three months, and if she can’t help me get back on track, I don’t think anyone else can. I haven’t reached my peak yet, but I’ve gained 82 pounds since my lowest weight in 2006, when I completed the Superior Hiking Trail 50-mile race. My goal is to lose approximately 60 pounds, which would significantly enhance my overall well-being and happiness. We can only wait and see what happens.

On a sad note, Shelley is heartbroken. Her fifth love has torn his ACL and needs surgery. I know I’m only fourth in her love hierarchy, but I understand her girls are one and two. Her parents are three and four, and Jackson, the man she loves after her divorce, has also torn his ACL. It’s a costly surgery, but Jackson is her third love. She’s known him longer than she’s known me. I’m her fourth love, and I’m very happy about that position!

Wish me well!  

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

SteveQ

There's no way you could take in that number of calories, burn that many exercising, and not lose weight - I've heard a number of people who went through the same thing, and invariably, they were under-reporting what they ate. Always unintentionally, of course. I recall one woman whose food journal was incredibly detailed and was saying the same thing as you; they used radioactive tracing to show that she had to be eating more than she said, and it was only by having her filmed for an entire day that they were able to see how she ate much more than she thought. Dieting is so tricky! Best of luck.  Monday, April 8, 2013 at 10:16:53 AM CDT

wildknits

Prednisone can cause weight gain as well. And long-term antibiotic use can wreak havoc with your gut as well.  Good luck at the nutritionist! The goal seems reasonable.  See you on the trail.   Monday, April 8, 2013 at 7:23:55 PM CDT

Wayne

Keep running. And i hope you get things figured out.  Wednesday, April 10, 2013 at 12:49:43 PM CDT

Crazy

The past week has been incredibly hectic. But I always say that? I’m curious to know if I’ll lose any weight. I’ve been diligently monitoring my diet and taking the necessary vitamins and supplements. Sometimes, I wonder if all this effort is worth it. Could it be that being overweight simply brings me joy? It’s hard to believe that might be true. Can being a lazy, overweight person be good?

Today, my son called me, and he’s feeling overwhelmed about his schoolwork. He’s worried that he needs to improve his grade point average to complete the program. I reminded him of how challenging and difficult my graduate school experience was. I told him that those were the worst two years of my life. I encouraged him to do his best and stay confident. I’m just hoping he maintains his self-assurance. He already has enough obstacles that don’t need to be exacerbated by his lack of confidence.

Work has been incredibly hectic, and I’m losing vacation time because I need more time to take a vacation. That’s a shame because vacation is meant for relaxation, rest, and being at your best at work. I’m not sure if taking the time off is worth it, considering I'll likely return to a much larger pile of work. I can’t recall the last time I worked less than 60 hours in a week. Some of this is my own doing. I need to learn to separate my personal life from my work life. Better yet, I need to understand that there’s such a thing as a personal life.

My relationship has been subpar. We’re just acquaintances on different paths. My girlfriend has been divorced for over 12 years, and during the Easter holiday, when I was at her place celebrating, she still had little notes from her husband about Easter and family in Easter eggs. I don’t know if she’s letting go. As I mentioned, she was divorced and then hyphenated her name 8 years later. I don’t understand it, which bothers me, but it shouldn’t be an issue. But it is for me! It’s something I’ll never understand, and hopefully, I’ll never want to. In the long run, it’s diminishing the quality of our relationship.

Tomorrow, I’m thrilled about riding my bicycle to work. It’s a peaceful and pleasant way to start the day, covering just over 17 miles one way. However, the forecast predicts freezing temperatures in the morning, which makes the ride less appealing. To combat the cold, I’ll dress in multiple layers, including at least three or four. I’ll also bring icy hot skin warmers and other items to make the journey more comfortable.

I’m aware that many people are facing significant challenges right now, and it’s difficult for me to understand why I feel so self-pitying. My sister, for instance, is struggling to make ends meet after being laid off twice in the past four years. Meanwhile, I find myself overpaid for my work compared to others who earn a quarter of my salary and appear to work much harder. Perhaps that’s the result of having a Master’s degree. I’ve paid my dues to Pac-Man, as I promised my son. I believe that the dues or the advantages of having a graduate degree contribute to my ability to perform specific tasks more comfortably than someone who didn’t undergo the rigorous process of obtaining a graduate degree.

To conclude, I intended to turn a new leaf as of April 1 and start having regular workouts. It is now the evening of April 2, and I have done nothing. I feel like such a failure. I need to quit failing. I really, really need to get my head out of my chair and get going.

Carry on!

Where

I’ve realized I’m very overweight. When I urinate, I can’t see my penis. It’s frustrating, disgusting, and I need to do something about it. I’m hiring a nutritionist and getting back on track. It doesn’t make sense, but I know what to do. My chest pains are still intermittent, as they’ve been for years. I’m not sure what the main issue is, and the doctor said there isn’t one.

I bought a Garmin Edge 500 for my bike. I’m excited about the weather improving so I can ride to work. I’ve been sleeping better. The Nedimed sinus rinse is excellent. The right side is usually clear, but the left isn’t. Both sides emptied like a large marble tonight, and it felt great. I work 11-12 hours a day, including lunch. I eat breakfast and lunch at the office desk. Will I ever get caught up? I have a good-paying job, but it’s uncertain.

I’m still down about my girlfriend reminding me that “it’s my house” often. I think I need to move on. She’s independent, but sharing is nonexistent. Easter is approaching, which is a welcome event. It’s hard to sense sarcasm in writing. It’s another holiday where people with nothing in common get together. Where’s a root canal when we need one? I hate these gatherings. I can’t recall the last time I enjoyed one. Maybe I don’t belong anywhere.

Belonging causes many problems. People often struggle to find a sense of belonging, whether it’s through religion, nation, culture, or race. Negative aspects of being human, like drug addictions, alcoholism, racism, and mental/physical afflictions, often create a sense of belonging by providing a sense of recourse in their criticisms.

Belonging is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you seek out others who share similar interests to alleviate loneliness. On the other hand, you don’t want to be categorized and generalized, conveniently switching your position depending on merit. You want to have it all and never be lonely.

I’m not saying I never feel lonely, because it’s totally normal. We all experience it from time to time, but that doesn’t mean we have to fix it. We tend to want to fix everything negative, but not every negative thing needs fixing. Science and technology have led us to believe that we have a solution for everything, that we shouldn’t experience any negative emotions, and that we can eliminate all negative feelings. When I see people constantly trying to fix their negative emotions, I feel like telling them to chill out, that it’s just on TV and in movies that people get eternal bliss, that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling, and that they should stop trying to fix everything. Ironically, most of these people are busy fixing problems that can’t be fixed and don’t even try to fix issues that can be fixed.

Life has a funny way of showing us what it’s all about. Often, it’s our own struggles that make us struggle. Eventually, we realize that the footprints of the crook we were chasing were our own. Only by stepping back and looking at our own behaviors can we see the big circle we’re going around. That’s all I do. I keep going in circles until I realize that chasing a sense of belonging makes me feel lonelier.

Carry on!