Monday, December 26, 2011

First free weekend in - I can't recall

Last weekend, I had the first free weekend in ages! I was thrilled because I had quit tennis two weeks prior. My last two work weeks were super busy, averaging around 50 hours a week, compared to the 72 I had been averaging for the first 50 weeks of 2011. Shelley was going to Nebraska, and my son is in Chile (yes, the country!). So, it was just an aging dog and me. It was a bit lonely, but we bonded.


It was amazing to see these incredible athletes in Tuscobia. One guy was from Texas and dressed super lightly, unlike the others, who were bundled up. (Note: no gloves!) I was freezing out there, but he was walking or jogging, while I was standing. I started volunteering at 1:00 p.m. on Friday and left around 1 p.m. on Saturday. I barely got 45 minutes of sleep between 6:45 and 7:30 a.m. However, aside from that, time flew by, and I had a fantastic time hanging out with great people and making new friends.


With shorter workweeks, I’ve incorporated regular exercise into my routine. This is beneficial since I’ve been stressed and short on time. I’ve averaged at least 30 minutes of exercise daily, with today being 2 hours and 30 minutes. Although I initially felt fatter, I now feel better. I know this phase is temporary and will become a habit. I hope to have three regular weeks by year-end and form the habit.


A synopsis would be appropriate since I have not posted much on this blog in 2011.  Here are the bullet points highlighted:


  • In January, I discovered that my son had reintroduced bedbugs from his trip to Germany earlier that year. It was a tough battle, but I finally conquered it after nine months. It was a real challenge at the time!
  • In February, I relocated to Apple Valley. As is widely known, I had been experiencing various medical challenges, leading me to consider this location as a suitable place to reside. Consequently, I moved in with my girlfriend. (It is important to note that I do not reside in sin; instead, I reside in the basement of the dwelling. However, whether this aspect holds significance for others is not of particular concern.) However, it is worth mentioning that she had a daughter’s wedding and incurred other substantial expenses, so my funds also provided her with significant benefits.
  • In April, I installed a Bionx Electric Assist Kit on my Cannondale Quick 5 due to the 18-mile one-way bike ride to work. This modification enabled me to commute to work daily without requiring a rest day between the approximately 36 miles.
  • After a 10-year hiatus, my son took me on a 3-mile training run the week before Grandma’s 2011. We ran it together, and my streak as an official finisher continues for 27 years. His support and enjoyment made it a cherished memory.
  • Moved my son (twice) to Golden, Colorado, in July.
  • My girlfriend was distant due to planning her daughter’s wedding and a two-week trip to Italy to visit her other daughter.
  • Volunteered at the 42-mile mark of the ST 100. Great weather for spectators, but the runner was relentless. My aid station resembled an M.A.S.H. unit, but only smiles!
  • I interviewed in various locations far from here and received an offer in Idaho. Though I declined, I’ve regretted it a few times. During tough times and strained relationships, a new start can be appealing, but I’ve never been one to flee issues. There were compelling reasons to go and stay. Regrettably, I made the decision. Tomorrow, I may be glad I did. This has been my experience over the past month since I rejected the lateral move professionally.
  • December 9th marked the end of my involvement with the United States Tennis Association. Leaving baseball unpinning was a decision I made without hesitation, ready to move on. Over 10 years, with 35-40 weekends a year, I no longer enjoyed the hobby. I learned that passion can’t be monetized, but administrators and a few parents can take it away.
  • Finished the year with 2,265 bike miles, 645 elliptical miles, and 29.2 running miles. I likely walked a few hundred miles too.


Following my recent tennis tournament, Shelley invited me to the Holiday Lights Benefit Concert at the Brave New Workshop. The event was thoroughly enjoyable, and we had the privilege of witnessing a local performer, Keri Noble, whose talent I was previously unaware of. Her performance was truly exceptional, and I must express my profound admiration for her songwriting abilities. Noble’s music possesses a profound emotional depth and authenticity. I highly recommend exploring her work.


Our office is currently experiencing a staffing shortage of four members. Despite the economic downturn, we could have managed with two fewer, but the current situation has proven challenging. We anticipate the arrival of a new staff member in mid-late January, which will provide a temporary solution. However, as is customary during this time of year, our workload is significantly reduced, allowing us ample time to train the new individual before the anticipated surge in activity in March.


Overall, my physical and personal circumstances are undergoing rapid transformation as I approach the age of 50. I have witnessed more significant changes in the past 18 months compared to the decade preceding. The experience has been akin to a repeated divorce, although the changes are unrelated to interpersonal relationships and primarily affect my own well-being.


In light of these developments, I am setting my sights on 2012. Looking ahead, I prioritize weight loss. The right knee, which underwent surgery recently, is currently functioning satisfactorily, albeit with occasional episodes of pain. I intend to continue diligently caring for my body and engaging in regular physical activity to regain my desired fitness level. Although I do not plan to participate in any competitive races next year, I intend to volunteer at ST 100 once again. 


I will keep you all posted. Until then, carry on.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Tuscobia - here I come to volunteer

Despite having limited time for exercise this year, I have been delighted and fulfilled by volunteering to assist those who wish to participate in the Tusobia 50K, 75M, and 150M races. While I am uncertain about the number of runners, Bill and I will be stationed at one of the events.


On Friday, I took a leave of absence from work, resulting in a 36-hour workweek, which is nearly half of the average annual workload. This extended break has left me feeling indolent, as I have neglected my workout routine. Although I had meticulously planned my workouts, the absence of a consistent schedule has proven to be challenging.


Tennis officiating has been an integral aspect of my life, and this week marks the commencement of a new phase where I will relinquish my responsibilities. It is akin to ending a 12-year relationship, and as unconventional as it may sound, the transition has been arduous.


Incorporating exercise into the holiday season presents additional difficulties, especially since it is not a habitual practice. I intend to make the most of my available time and find ways to stay active.


I recently watched the Biggest Loser finale, and the at-home winner appeared to be in poor physical condition. The season was generally unengaging, and I regrettably missed a significant portion of it. Anna K. was not an effective trainer, and Bob remains the undisputed champion.


As we approach the week before Christmas, I am reminded of a task that I am obligated to complete. While the exact nature of this task eludes me at present, I am inclined to believe in the power of Santa Claus and hope that the tree will be filled with presents, thereby absolving me of the responsibility. I will consider this matter further.


During my marriage, I relied on the assistance of others for the care and maintenance of various tasks. Over time, I have developed a habit of delegating these responsibilities, which is evident in the numerous hours of home videos I am currently converting to DVD. As I reminisce, I am reminded of the challenges I faced during that period. While I cherish the memories of my marriage, I acknowledge that circumstances have changed, and I am now ready to embrace a new phase of life. However, the allure of a run remains irresistible.


As stated by Socrates, "As for me, all I know is that I know nothing."


Carry on my friends, carry on!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Blog Time Off

Blog posts are rare due to our busy schedules and upcoming changes.


Life is challenging for many, but I’m grateful for my blessings. However, significant changes are on the way. First, I’m moving from Bloomington to Apple Valley, leaving me with only a weekend free from tennis or work in late May.


My health and wellness are my biggest concerns. I thought my surgery in May would improve my condition, but my infection, which caused my surgery in May 2010, has returned. Despite taking strong Black Box Warning Medications, it has persisted.


I finished a round of four different medications five days ago. While on them, my chest was clear, I felt solid, and my head felt fine. After a few days without, the negative impacts returned. I’ve decided not to share my struggles with friends and followers. In reality, I’m fine but limited.


I am going to continue to work with the doctors and try to beat this, whatever it is. I know that being on heavy-duty antibiotics for two weeks, then taking a three-week break, followed by two weeks on and another three to four weeks off... I have just been in that cycle for eight months, and the end is not clear.


This is an update and a sign-off from posting on this blog. May we survive this winter, and may my spring be filled with success in overcoming this persistent infection. Working a 40-hour week for a month would reduce stress, but my commitments require more than 75 hours a week. At my full-time job, where I’m grateful to be employed, we’re in a hiring freeze due to staff shortages. I’m overwhelmed at work, and missing a day means I fall behind, so I end up working extra 15-hour days to catch up.


May we all be blessed with good health and wellness as we endure a difficult time. I am signing off, and I hope to be back in a few months.

Carry on, my friends.

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.


Beth
Wishing you good health and happiness while you take some time off from your blog. Hope warm weather will find you finished with that blasted infection and less stressed. Take care!!  Sunday, January 16, 2011 at 9:13:30 PM CST
wildknits
Really sorry to hear you are still dealing with that infection!  I think you are right—reducing your stress would aid in healing. And I know this can be the hardest thing to do when you need to make ends meet.  At our clinic we often tell folks that if they could just take time to rest at the beginning of an illness they would recover faster. One of the hardest prescriptions to follow!  Hang in there, good luck with the move, and don't forget your probiotics! (after being on all those antibiotics;->).  Monday, January 17, 2011 at 8:33:15 AM CST
SteveQ
Yikes. I really hope you get better soon and I see you somewhere on the trails this year.  It's common for people who blog to feel they should only say positive things and keep whatever's not right in their lives to themselves. I battled with that idea and found that writing actually helped me. Write when you're ready; we'll be here when you come back.  Tuesday, January 18, 2011 at 10:12:27 AM CST
Mike W.
Take care of yourself, get healthy, blogging will be there when you are ready as will running. You can only juggle so many things at one time, adding in more just adds stress even if what you add is supposed to reduce stress.  Now that you are moving to Apple Vally, Lebanon Hills, Murphy and Terrace Oaks are closer. Hope to see you on the trails, Friday, January 21, 2011 at 9:31:09 AM CST

Sunday, January 2, 2011

New year - odd images

I found some photos that express how life feels for so many people.

I find the dogs have taken the credit cards and a good life!

I come home and try to relax on the couch. The couch even overtakes me.

Dr. Visit found the following! At least, that is the way the brain feels.

In 2011, I experienced a period of exceptional well-being that spanned two consecutive days. I eagerly anticipate a productive workout and a fulfilling week ahead. However, I acknowledge that I have five consecutive weekends dedicated to tennis, which may pose a challenge in maintaining my usual flow. Nevertheless, I will endeavor to manage my expectations and minimize any unnecessary stress associated with this schedule.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Cleaning out the photo files

Annually, I meticulously organize my photo files. While I capture approximately 3,000 photographs with my digital camera, I ultimately retain only about 500. As I sift through numerous cherished images, I am delighted to share a few that resonate deeply with me, not only for their aesthetic appeal but also for the narratives they convey.


Here they are: (Click on the photo to see a larger, more vivid photo)

Unique running outfit

Brian questions his footing

Dejected DNF look

Bloody nose aftermath 

Colorado sunset

Another year’s end is here, and time flies when you’re having fun, right? As I approach 2011, I’ve got a few questions that might have some answers. I’m almost 50, and I can’t help but wonder why everyone seems to be getting older around me. 


Why do people call 50 the Middle Aged? Does that mean I’ll live to be 100? I doubt it! If I’m only as young as I felt when I was 50, how come I have all these worn-out parts? If I get my parts updated, will I become the Man of Steel? And why do I keep asking this body to hurry up when, in reality, I’m slowing down?


I have questions as I reflect on the past year and many past years. Although I can honestly say I have learned a few things about life in general:


  • No matter how bad someone treats you, they are human, and we must learn to forgive.
  • I cannot solve all my problems, so I must stop trying to solve other people's problems.
  • Always put a "No Trespassing" sign above your "welcome" mat.
  • Worry works; everything I worry about seems not to happen.
  • If I pluck all my gray hairs so as not to become gray, I will be bald.
  • Plucking those hairs from my ears and nose is easier than finding them.
  • When I was 19, I knew everything; there was no need to ask. By the time I was 30, there was more to know. But by the time I was 40, my kid knew everything and corrected all my mistakes. I am pushing 50 now, and I know I have much more to learn.
  • Every day is a struggle, yet I wake up each morning thankful to be alive and given another day to get it right.
  • I am blessed to have still all God's blessings: Sight, Sound, Touch, Taste, and Smell.
  • I am thankful that I have met and had many people in my life.
  • Other people's pets have taught me more about God's love than 1,000 sermons!


If I wait to post for the rest of the year, thanks for reading (and enjoying or suffering) my thoughts this year. In the meantime, here’s something to think about:


“People get all riled up about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they should really be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.”


“Wage war on your vices; be at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better person.”


Carry on, my friends, carry on!

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.


Mike W.
Good post, I enjoyed it. That is a gorgeous sunset. Have a great new year, looking forward to seeing you on the trails. Sunday, December 26, 2010 at 11:07:07 AM CST
SteveQ
The guy in the first photo (I think his name's "Bud") at least was wearing shoes in that photo; he was in the forefront of the barefoot fad. I may have to steal your photo of me at Afton; there are only three photos of me anywhere in 2010!  Hope to see you (and your camera) on the trails in the spring. Monday, December 27, 2010 at 10:12:44 AM CST
Beth
Thanks for the wonderful pictures and thoughts. I hope 2011 brings you health and happiness! Tuesday, December 28, 2010 at 9:54:35 PM CST

Thursday, December 23, 2010

What, it's December 23rd! HOW?

Time flies as we age. I recall September vividly. Adding workouts to my 70-hour work weeks has sped up the time. I wake up, go to work, work through lunch, and leave at about 7. About three days a week, I work out. I feel great and want to do it more. But how? I could wake up at 5:30 AM and head to the gym. I attempted it one day, but by 7 PM, I was too exhausted to go. I’m not sure what the best solution is, but I’m glad I’m still trying. In these stressful times, it’s so much easier to give up.


Last weekend, I picked up my son in Colorado. It was a completely different experience from anything I’ve had before. He’s also stressed out. For the first time since my divorce over a decade ago, he started yelling at me about things, including the divorce and my parenting. It was definitely an uncomfortable experience. Sometimes, it’s hard to forget the harsh words of others, even if they were spoken out of anger and not meant to be as harsh as they were perceived. This is a lesson I took a long time to learn, and he’s following in my footsteps.


I might be taking things too personally. Life’s a constant cycle of work, sleep, cleaning, and more work. I feel like I’ve lost my way. I recently spoke to a woman who had just gotten out of prison, and she said life was better there. Sure, she lost freedom, but she also had no time or much less freedom in her free life.


However, when my son launched into a verbal attack, it was tough. One thing I’m most proud of is being a dad. I’ve always given and continue to give everything I can to help him improve and become a better man. However, that was just one of many reasons I failed in various aspects, including relationships and self-preservation. I learned the hard way that there needs to be a balance in all aspects of life. That’s what being a Type A does to a person.


I also made a mistake. When I washed the five loads of clothes he had built up, bleach got on a few of his favorite shirts—another black eye on that one. But then again, I goofed up, and I need to figure out how to fix it.


I’ve been getting many questions about Grandma’s Marathon. My heart isn’t in it. I long for trails but clearly despise the road. I said I’d go with someone who thought they’d struggle to finish and help them through. Last year, I completed 15 miles from January through June, so mentally, I’m fine. However, that’s becoming increasingly difficult, as I dislike running the same course year after year.


Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, and guess what? My son’s coming home! I’ve set up this giant three-foot-tall tree, and it’s hilarious to see all the presents hiding under it. But hey, at least it’s easier to take down, right? I hope 2011 doesn’t rush by like 2010. I need to make some changes and get back on track.


There are so many paths to take, and I still don’t have a clear plan. So, I’ll keep trusting my instincts and being open to changing directions if I think I’m going the wrong way. In the past, I kept pushing through, but as I've grown older, I've realized it’s better to admit my mistakes and try something new. That way, I’m sure I’ll eventually find the right path. But hey, as my friend always says, Mother Nature can change things at any time, so I’ll have to be patient and keep learning and growing.


Carry on, my friends.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Expectations

I was working out with a friend who felt like an outsider looking in. She said her husband was next to her, but there was a glass wall between them, except for infrequent intimacy. At her new job, she felt like an outsider. With her overachieving family, she felt left behind. With most workout friends, she felt less than adequate.


A consistent point was that she felt neglected. I asked her what they had done to make her feel that way. She said they don’t smile or say hello and are just there without any appreciation for her efforts. I explained that I understood what she meant because I had been there as well, and in some ways, I still am. I suggested she read “The Cost of Living,” a collection of stories between 1951 and 1971. http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781590173275. This book isn’t about women with perfect exteriors—their hair was styled perfectly, their manicures never chipped, their voices were soft and silky, and they never said the wrong thing. Instead, the author writes about draggled laces, sagging hems, and undone ribbons. Her stories about everyday women and heroines are about the awkward, the hopeless, the immature, and the ones on the outside of womanhood looking in, just like her and many others. I told her I didn’t think it would be a revelation, but it was a good read.


I will wait to hear any comments if she reads it.


This preconceived notion held that we possess a certain level of self-worth and a specific amount of resources before we expect to reap benefits from our efforts. It’s the expectation within us that often leads to disappointment. For instance, I set an unrealistic goal of completing a marathon in less than four hours, only to realize that I had exceeded the performance of over 99.6% of all humans, as revealed in a study conducted in 2007. While it’s commendable to celebrate such achievements, my expectations were the root cause of my disappointment.


This pattern repeats itself in my life. I set expectations, only to experience significant disappointments. My next 15-minute per-mile run or jog should be a joyous experience, simply because it’s a successful run. While I’m still doing more than the majority of the world, I’m not achieving anything compared to my friends.


Carry on my friends.

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

Steve

A very enlightening post, Londell. As a perfectionist, I, too, suffer this syndrome often. This past year, I've learned to 'let go' and try to just enjoy life and each experience for what it is. This has been particularly important being the parent of a five year-old and having to had to deal with an injury which prevented me from running as fast and long as I normally could. I still have a ways to go, but I'm making progress, which is the most important thing. Keep up the great posts. They always get me thinking. Happy Holidays!!  Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 7:46:27 PM CST
Beth
Interesting that the reasons she gave for her feelings were things that everyone else was doing. They needed to do all of the right things. I think "waking up" and feeling connected has more to do with how we behave and think and less to do with others. It may be safer to keep up the wall of glass.  Thanks for the thought-provoking post! Monday, December 13, 2010 at 9:38:10 PM CST

I am 64

Waking up at 3:45 AM and getting ready for race day (Pilot Mountain to Hanging Rock 50 Mile) set the tone for an intense experience. Picking...