This week was challenging. I reflected on past thoughts. I sometimes wonder if everyone doubts their humanity, as I have. Mentors shape our lives and identities. In this blog, I wrote about my only mentor until I was a teenager: my grandfather. In high school, Mr. Gary Clark and Mr. Larry Anderson influenced me to take life seriously. I wonder if I’d be where I am today or in jail without them.
Until my son was born, I believed I naturally wanted to raise him to have a whole, emotional, yet stable life. I discovered a difference between accepting a boy should express his feelings freely and having one who does. In 1984, I attended Tennis and Life Camp, which left a lasting impact. I partially implemented its lessons in my life.
Raising a child is challenging, and due to my emotional flaws, I became a single father. I wanted my son to have positive role models. His wise grandfather, a lawyer, raised a fine young man. The other role model was Steve Wilkinson, the founder of the Tennis and Life Tennis Camp. I decided my son should attend the camp.
Steve took my son under his wing because of his perceived handicap. He emphasized the importance of the three crowns in tennis and life.
- The first crown symbolizes choosing positivity, focusing on controllable factors, and releasing control over uncontrollable ones. For instance, in competitions, winning or losing isn’t controllable, but your attitude is.
- The second crown signifies a commitment to dedicating your utmost effort, irrespective of academic performance, feedback, or regrets.
- The third crown embodies sportsmanship, and we consistently seek avenues to reinforce this principle. Consequently, I teach sports ethics, which harmonizes my interest in religion with sports—a profound intersection.
Therefore, I firmly believe my son had three fathers. Apart from his biological father, me, he also had his grandfather and Steve Wilkinson. Regrettably, Steve passed away this past week, leaving an indelible void in the hearts of many, including mine and, undoubtedly, my son’s.
If the readers of this post are unfamiliar with Steve, I recommend reading his memoir titled “Let Love Serve,” which he published before his demise. I highly suggest you take the time to read it, as it will provide you with a comprehensive understanding of the essence of living life to the fullest.
We will attend Steve’s funeral next week, and I anticipate that I, for one, will experience a profound sense of difficulty. I believe my son will share in this sentiment as well. Losing such a revered figure is a profound and arduous experience. However, more than ever before in my life, we must reflect upon the invaluable lessons Steve imparted to me three decades ago and, in this moment, actively implement them.
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