I am alive

Life has become more challenging in the modern age. Working long hours, often exceeding 50, has caused immense stress and poor sleep. This exhaustion hinders maintaining a healthy weight and overall well-being.

Research links sleep restriction to negative metabolic changes. Adults sleeping four hours a night, compared to ten, experience increased hunger and appetite. Observational studies also suggest a link between sleep restriction and obesity. Sleep duration may affect hormones regulating hunger, such as ghrelin and leptin, or lead to fatigue and decreased physical activity.

I’ve noticed that fatigue often makes me emotional. The past three years have been difficult for my girlfriend, as her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s four years ago and deteriorated until her passing last summer.

This morning, I heard about Glen Campbell’s last song, “I am not going to miss you.” I started crying. It’s unheard of for someone to write such lyrics knowing it would be their final time with us after being diagnosed. The lyrics are:

February 20 ››

February 21

 

That sleep pattern is not healthy.  Research suggests an association between sleep restriction and negative changes in metabolism.  In adults, sleeping four hours a night, compared with 10 hours a night, increases hunger and appetite.  I can verify that issue!

Observational studies also suggest a link between sleep restriction and obesity.  One explanation might be that sleep duration affects hormones regulating hunger — ghrelin and leptin.  Another contributing factor might be that lack of sleep leads to fatigue and results in less physical activity.

One thing I know is when I get tired, I get emotional.  As some may know, the past three years have been trying for my girlfriend as her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about four years ago and degraded until she passed last summer.

This morning, I heard about the last song Glen Campbell wrote, "I am not going to miss you." I just started to cry.  For him to write that knowing it would be the result of his final time with us after being diagnosed is unheard of in society.  The lyrics are:

I'm still here, but yet I'm gone

I don't play guitar or sing my songs

They never defined who I am

The man that loves you 'til the end

You're the last person I will love

You're the last face I will recall

And best of all, I'm not gonna miss you

Not gonna miss you

I'm never gonna hold you like I did

Or say I love you to the kids

You're never gonna see it in my eyes

It's not gonna hurt me when you cry

I'm never gonna know what you go through

All the things I say or do

All the hurt and all the pain

One thing selfishly remains

I'm not gonna miss you

I'm not gonna miss you

If you want to see it on YouTube, check it out here.

I am trying to get this under control. When I retire, it will be more comfortable, as the political environment and job stress are at an all-time high!

On the exercise side, I purchased a Wahoo KiCKR indoor trainer to get a few hundred bike miles monthly.  I'm looking forward to being outside in a few weeks.

I will do regular entries, but I don't have time.  They say it reduces stress, and I may try it!

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Some people are self centered

I’m really impressed by the people I’m around, but it feels like they’re just going through the motions. Like my girlfriend, who thinks she’s super responsible and dedicated, but she’s not really dependable. She said she’d be home by 6:00 PM, so I left work to be home by 5:30 PM. I’ll be there when she gets home, which is at 7:15 PM. But when I get home, I forget something and ask if she can drop it off on her way to work (just a quick 5-minute detour), and she acts like I’ve just asked her to do the impossible. So, I drive 20 minutes home to grab what I need and then drive back 20 minutes.

This is happening with most things we’re involved in. I had a flat tire on my bike and asked if she could pick me up on the way home, and she complained. It’s so frustrating because I feel like we’re supposed to support each other in a relationship, but I don’t feel supported at all. It’s the same with my son. It just breaks my heart!

I’ve been trying to find a better work-life balance. I’ve been working fewer than 50 hours a week in the past couple of weeks. I still hate going to the office, and it’s getting hard to control my anger about what I have to do. Plus, I feel like I’m not getting any support!

Part of that is helping my girlfriend’s son-in-law build a wall and patio! It’s such a tough job, and my back is starting to hurt really badly. One more weekend will finish the job.

I’ve been feeling more frustrated lately because I really want more time for photography and other things I used to enjoy. Right now, as I’ve said before, I hate everything.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Miles are up, not sure about weight

Today marks the conclusion of July 2019. While the month presents several positive attributes, it also encompasses lingering challenges and minor setbacks. I continue to experience anemia and chest pains, necessitating infusions to sustain iron levels. As previously mentioned, these occurrences are approximately half the frequency of 2018, yet they remain imperative.

Contrary to the physician’s recommendation, I have refrained from continuing omeprazole treatment. In January, I began experiencing significant difficulties, which were indicative of kidney issues. Kidney failure is a potential risk associated with omeprazole. Having discontinued its use for four months, I am confident that the kidneys are regaining their functionality, resulting in a reduction in my health concerns. My primary focus has shifted towards gut bacteria, as a balanced gut microbiome can contribute to the alleviation of various health issues.

In February, I stopped weighing myself. My weight feels lower, but only with effort. I’ll check with my doctor next. I’m focusing on balanced eating and more cycling. As of today, I’ve ridden 132 times and covered 1,796.3 miles. I’ve maintained this level since 2014, with a low of 760 miles a few years ago. My top year was 2,543.3 miles in 2012, and I’m on pace to exceed that this year. In July, I only drove the car for four days, mostly cycling.

My lingering health issues from the 2017 hospital stay are fortunate that my busy son doesn’t notice. Seeing a parent struggle with health is as hard as seeing a child with issues. I’m glad he’s working and unaware of my struggles.

He was in Germany for most of the first six months and was promoted to a new role, which increased his responsibilities. He’s only visited three times this year, including a brief stopover. The timing is perfect.

Here’s to August and hopes of a 400-plus mile month, as July was 481 miles.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

wildknits

Congrats on keeping your riding mileage up in light of everything else you have going on, especially the anemia! Hoping that you find the answer to your health issues, you have been struggling with them for years.  Did you find a good probiotic to take daily? Considering all of the antibiotics you have been on, it would be a wonder if you had good gut bacteria left. I think we are all learning more and more about the contribution the gut and its bacteria have to our overall health. I certainly have in the past two years! While some of my main issues have been addressed, I continue to take a probiotic, eat prebiotic foods, and maintain a diet that is radically different than what it was 2 years ago. Cutting out foods that cause inflammation for me has made a huge difference in how I feel overall, and led to some weight loss (not something I was looking to do at the time).  Thursday, August 8, 2019 at 7:28:18 AM CDT

LDP

Lisa, what I learned is that this is a long-term learning experience. Dairy and inflammation have a more significant effect on me. I use more care in selecting food and dissecting the labels, and in the past months, I was so surprised at the sugar in so-called health-beneficial food. The key for me was what the said was anemia, drug-induced. I have improved and look forward to a few more years when I finally get back in balance. At least the pace of improvement makes me believe that slow and easy will result in a good outcome.  Wednesday, August 21, 2019 at 8:10:37 PM CDT

I HATE the floods! Careful what we wish for!

I’m really curious about the weather forecast! I’m not a fan of extreme cold, especially when it comes to riding a bicycle in spring rain and floods. Then there’s the heat of summer. But hey, there are three months between early August and the middle of November when I can really enjoy biking. So, looking at the bright side of winter, at least in the tundra, it can’t flood, right?

Even with the not-so-great weather, I’ve managed to complete 59 rides (28 of which were to work) and racked up 1,006 miles! The mileage is high now because the flood has made the trip 5 miles longer each way, adding 10 miles daily, for a total of 36 miles compared to the shorter 26 miles. A week ago, the river was just low enough. I had hoped to take the shorter route, but after a week of rain, the river is up about 2.5 feet! Check out the chart below, which shows the river levels from the last time I could ride the short route, on March 19, through today.

I await the weather and look forward to the day when I can take a shorter ride.

In terms of my health, I was experiencing significant improvement following the previous iron infusion. However, after a few weeks, I began to experience sleep deprivation once again. I am aware that I was still experiencing gastrointestinal bleeding, which, coupled with other symptoms, led to this realization. Last week, my average sleep duration was approximately four hours. Despite my efforts to address the issue, insomnia is the first symptom I notice when my iron levels are low. I intend to increase my consumption of tofu, sesame seeds, and spinach, which have been beneficial in the past. However, these combinations can become monotonous relatively quickly. I have scheduled tests for June 4th, and another infusion is imminent.

Regarding my work situation, there are still unresolved issues. We are currently operating at approximately 20 percent below the levels achieved in 2006, during the peak of the economic boom. Our workload has increased significantly since then. Consequently, I am required to work almost every weekend, which has resulted in the loss of 32 vacation hours and an average workweek exceeding 50 hours. This figure only accounts for the time spent at the office, which includes a limited number of remote hours. The stress levels have reached an all-time high. If I were not nearing retirement (in a few years), I would consider leaving my current position to prioritize my health.

My son has been traveling a lot for work lately, and it feels like ages since I last saw him. He spent most of the spring in Germany. I’m trying to figure out where he’s headed next. Fingers crossed it’s back in the US so he can catch up on life! His girlfriend works in Alaska, so he’s working remotely from there.

That’s great because he can finally spend some time with his mom. Alaska is a long flight, but he manages to make it work sometimes. I know his schedule is crazy, so for the past year, he’s been in Alaska as much, if not more, than Minnesota. I hope he can keep visiting Alaska more often, especially since he loves the sunshine there, especially when there are 20 hours of it a day!

My girlfriend has been super busy with work, and we’re spending less time together each year. She leaves for work about three hours after I do and gets home two hours later. So, I have breakfast at the office and dinner for about an hour before she gets home. It’s funny how, during the week, we only see each other for about four to five hours, and we live in the same house!

Then, I work every Saturday, and she’s busy with the grandchildren on weekends. That’s just the way it is now with three little ones (nine months, 18 months, and four years old). She’s amazing with kids; if she could, she’d see them as much as possible, but work gets in the way.

So, Porter and I often hang out, which is good.  He has a very odd personality, so we get along just fine!

He owns the bed!

Husker necktie

 

That's an update!  Carry on my friends, carry on!

745.4 – Good? Bad? Not ugly!

Hey there! As of May 6, 2019, I’ve racked up a total of 745.4 bicycle miles each year. Most of these miles have been for commuting to work. I’m still determining whether 745.4 is a suitable goal or if I need to increase my pace, so I’ve been reviewing data from the past few years.

For 2017, I hit 1,763 miles, and for 2018, it was 1,659 miles. That seems pretty low, and I’m wondering if I should have been tracking more miles since my bike computer shows over 4,000 miles and is two years old. So, based on the data, I’m almost halfway to the 2017 and 2018 totals, which sounds like a fantastic achievement! I’m really crushing it this year compared to my 760 miles in 2016. I could do even better, though. The mind can be a real challenge to battle! I’ll keep going and hope we get some rain soon.

Due to the flooding, my commute to work is almost 18 miles one way. It’s 13 miles through the Old Cedar Avenue bridge route, but that route is about 10 feet underwater on the Burnsville, MN side. I wait, and, of course, add 10 miles to my daily commute. That means I’ve already added 190 extra miles today, as I finished my 19th commute. There’s a chance the floodwaters will recede next week, but we have heavy rain forecasted for two days later this week.

I’m still struggling with fatigue, primarily because of anemia. I’m getting infusions less often, but I can tell when things start to get bad because four hours of sleep is a good night when I’m low on iron. After the infusions, I sleep like a baby and feel much better! I wish we could figure out exactly what’s going on.

Anyway, I’m still alive and doing better. Increasing the miles is nice, but the weight and body stiffness are still issues. Time will help with those, as long as I keep exercising, so I definitely can’t give up anytime soon.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

wildknits said

Londell,   That is impressive mileage for 2019! Especially as this has been a harder winter/spring than in recent years. I am sorry to hear they still don't have any answers for you to explain the anemia and your ongoing health issues. That can be draining both mentally and physically.  I am sure you have been fully worked up and checked for issues like Celiac (it can cause weird symptoms, including unexplained anemia: https://celiac.org/about-celiac-disease/symptoms-of-celiac-disease/ Monday, May 13, 2019 at 11:49:00 PM CDT

Snow like no other!

Residing in the state of Minnesota, which I hold dear, for over two decades, I can confidently assert that it ranks among the most desirable states to call home. Despite occasional complaints from residents about the severity of winters, each season in Minnesota has its unique charm and allure.

Winter, in particular, presents a captivating spectacle. The quiet snowfall, the countryside transformed into a pristine white expanse, and the enchanting ambiance of a white Christmas create an unforgettable experience. However, it is undeniable that Minnesota winters can be challenging.

Last month, the temperatures plummeted to a wind chill of approximately -60 degrees, a truly extreme condition. Subsequently, a remarkable 97-degree swing occurred within three days, with temperatures reaching 37 degrees. Furthermore, the absence of snow for several decades has been a notable deviation from the norm, as evidenced by the recent snowfall in the past two weeks.

Despite these challenges, the anticipation of spring instills a sense of optimism and renewal. The prospect of warmer weather and the eventual return of snow fills me with hope and excitement.

Approximately two weeks ago, I contracted the flu, which incapacitated me for six days. The severity of the illness has increased each year. Is age a contributing factor?

Following my recovery from the flu, I have resumed light exercise. I have been able to complete two 6-mile bicycle rides each week. While the weather presented challenges, I am grateful for my efforts. I arrive at my destination 20-30 minutes each week, with the hope of improving my overall well-being.

I recognize that engaging in physical activity has a positive impact on my mood. However, it can be challenging to maintain motivation due to the demanding nature of my job. It is challenging to perform at my best daily and support the mental fortitude to resist the urge to seek solace until the end of my workday. Nevertheless, I must remember that our daily responses to them can determine whether we have adverse experiences.

I am still alive and well, with aspirations for a brighter future.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Time escapes faster as I get older!

It has been some time since I last posted, and I am uncertain as to why. Life has been quite busy, and I have neglected my writing responsibilities. I am eager to regain my writing momentum and establish a consistent writing schedule.

Last year, I set a goal to reduce my work hours. I successfully achieved this goal, with my average workday decreasing from 7.0 hours in 2016 to 7.1 hours in 2018. While this may seem like shorter workdays, it represents the average daily hours over the course of 365 days. Notably, I do not receive overtime pay despite a nearly 20% reduction in staff.

In November, I purchased a new car. While I did not require a new vehicle, I had never owned a car for comfort purposes. My previous cars were primarily used for transportation, and I had owned a few Smart cars that were under $15,000 and enjoyable to drive. I decided to invest significantly more in a vehicle, opting for a smooth-driving model with advanced features and excellent fuel efficiency. The car I purchased is a Kia Niro Touring Edition, a hybrid that provides approximately 50 miles per gallon.

So, health-wise, I had a bit of a rough patch over the holidays. I was dealing with chest issues for two whole weeks. Finally, on Christmas Eve morning, I popped into urgent care and found out I had pneumonia. They put me on a bunch of medicines that were a bit of a rollercoaster for my system. It took weeks to feel like myself again. I was a little worried because I had planned a trip to Texas to see Jordan and catch the FCS National Championship game. Plus, I was bringing him tons of stuff, so I drove.

The trip was definitely tiring, but it was also a blast. I was in care for just over 6 hours a day for the whole six-day trip. I even joined the Bison migration, which was a fun app. The game was absolutely unforgettable. NDSU beat Eastern Washington 38-24, but there were definitely some nail-biting moments. Jordan and I had a fantastic time. It was great because I haven’t seen him as much in the past few years, but that’s just part of growing up and kids getting busy with their own stuff.

In an effort to reduce my reliance on driving and increase my cycling activity, I have decided to purchase a fat-tire bicycle, specifically the Juiced Ripcurrent S. While the bicycle is expected to arrive in approximately one week, I anticipate being able to ride it in February. 

So, in general, it is the same old, same old.  I am alive with little time for relaxation!

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Annual difficulty

We have an election tonight. I’ve been nervous about America’s state. Both major parties are extreme. Excessive anger and hatred over political beliefs are common, especially among people who used to hate each other over religion. The world is changing in ways I fear.

I’m also near an anniversary of a traumatic event that reactivates my thoughts and feelings. Each November, I experience peaks of anxiety and depression. I remember events clearly and feel emotions intensely. While reliving sadness is natural, it’s been over two decades, and I realize there’s no one right way to heal.

I try to cope with stress and distress in healthy ways. Writing helps, but I don’t share my memories and feelings with someone I trust. Activities that focus my mind, like my job, are also helpful. However, my job’s stress exacerbates my frequent chest pains and impulsive eating, leading to weight gain. I’m at my heaviest ever. I feel trapped. I sleep an average of 4 hours a night and work nearly 60 hours a week. Below are my typical sleep patterns as recorded by my sleep monitor software.

In an effort to combat the challenges of November, I have adopted contemplative activities, including reading, reflection, and walking. While walking can be physically demanding, I am fortunate to abstain from alcohol and drug use, which are common choices for many individuals. As a means of overcoming the physical limitations of November, I intend to engage in water workouts. Although I acknowledge the importance of exercise, I am currently experiencing fatigue and soreness that hinder my motivation to exercise. To overcome these obstacles, I must cultivate strength and determination. My goal is to endure the next six weeks, despite the potential difficulties. However, I have been reminded that fear is an ineffective emotion. Therefore, I must prioritize focusing on this fact.

Carry on my friends, carry on!