On Monday morning, July 14, Shelley and I woke up at 5:30 AM and prepared for our upcoming short trip. This trip isn't a vacation; we're moving Shelley’s father from Lincoln, Nebraska, to Rosemount, Minnesota. His age and declining health have become a concern, and it’s time for him to be closer to Shelley. Caring for him 400 miles away has been a significant burden. Over the past six weeks, she has made four 7-hour drives to Lincoln to handle various issues. She also spent a lot of time on the phone managing problems related to hearing aids (one was damaged in the wash), feet, teeth, and other concerns.
The drive to Lincoln was smooth. Traffic was light, and I drove for the first five hours. Shelley finished the last 80 miles, while I attended to some emails. While doing so, I remembered a time less than 20 years ago when we couldn't handle important tasks remotely. Now, we can manage items that don't require personal attention from anywhere. Unfortunately, dealing with an ailing parent's affairs requires individual care.
Before arriving, we got a frightening phone call saying they suspected an issue with his legs. They planned to send a mobile ultrasound to check for clots! If there were clots, we couldn't bring him back; we would still need to pack up the truck and go back.
We arrived early at 1:15 PM, had a light lunch, relaxed briefly, and coordinated where to park the truck for loading before heading to pick up the rental truck. At 1:50 p.m., we went to get the truck from Budget Rental. When we reached the rental agency, we were disappointed to find they didn't have 12-foot trucks. We didn't need a 12-foot truck, but that was the smallest vehicle they had, and we would fill about 40% of it. Instead, they gave us a 16-foot truck at the same price. The downside was that the gas mileage would be significantly worse, and the driver would incur additional costs. But there was nothing we could do about that, so we headed over to her dad's to pack.
At 2:35 p.m., we arrived at Legacy Terrace and began packing. Shelley arranged for truck loading help to arrive at 4:00 p.m. A 71-year-old man came to help, so we started loading. By 3:45 p.m., the truck was full, but the younger people who were supposed to help were idle. While packing and loading, the ultrasound technician confirmed that there were no clots, which was a considerable relief. His sister, Margaret, and her husband, Tom, as well as others, confirmed that he had regular visitors all week. He appeared tired.
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| An underutilized truck! |
It was around 5:45 p.m. when Shelley called her friend Meg, with whom we were staying that evening, to update her on the situation. Meg suggested we meet for dinner, and Shelley recommended a place called Honest Abe's, a burger joint that Shelley had enjoyed many times with her father. Meg's husband, Ron, had gone golfing and couldn't come back in time.
I know Shelley really enjoyed the meal, which brought back memories of the times she and Jon ate there. It was beneficial for her during this challenging period. I thought the burgers were average, but it was nice to see Shelley reminisce. This might be one of the last times she spends a lot of time with her friend Meg, since she doesn't have many reasons to return to Lincoln often. We arrived at Meg's house around 7:45 p.m. and spent about an hour talking with Ron and Meg before going to bed. Unfortunately, I didn't sleep well at all. I stayed up a few extra hours to do some cleanup on the computer. It was nearly 11:00 p.m. before I could finally fall asleep.
I woke up at 5:30 a.m. and let Shelley sleep for at least another hour. She got up around 6:45 a.m., and we packed up and prepared to leave. We went upstairs to talk with Ron and Meg for about 20 minutes while Shelley had some breakfast. Then, we headed to Legacy to pick up the final items and Jon. We arrived at Legacy Terrace at 7:55 a.m., and Jon was sitting at breakfast. We quickly packed all the remaining items and loaded them into the truck. Around 8:30 a.m., Jon finished breakfast, and we got him ready for the trip. He went to the bathroom, and hopefully that wouldn’t be an issue for the rest of the way. We managed to hit the road around 8:55 a.m. However, I had to make a quick stop after about four miles because I realized I hadn't closed the back of the moving truck. Luckily, nothing came loose.
The first 20 miles weren’t bad. I was able to drive at or just above the speed limit, which made me happy because I wanted to make good time. Unfortunately, once the rental truck warmed up, the air conditioning stopped working. It was going to be a day with temperatures in the mid-to-high 90s, and the drive back to Minneapolis wouldn’t be comfortable. After about two hours, we made our first stop. Jon was quite stiff, and it was hard to get him into the bathroom and back into the car. He was really stiff!
Well, even though this was tough, at least we made it a third of the way. We knew we had to stop to refuel before the next planned stop. We kept driving and managed to get through Des Moines without any problems, choosing to skip the second of the three scheduled stops by stopping for gas. I was surprised that the truck had already used $60 worth of gas. Shelley and Jon had a quick lunch before we got back on the highway. There was one rest stop between stops two and three, and we figured if we could make it there, we could reach the finish line without much trouble.
We arrived at Suite Living around 4:45 PM and quickly unloaded without disturbing the residents’ dinner. Sheila and Terry arrived, helping us finish by 5:15 PM. Sheila kept Jon occupied while Terry and I unloaded, and Shelley made the room habitable without unpacking. We need to unpack tomorrow, but Jon couldn’t stay because he had to arrive before 11:00 AM for check-ins and evaluations. At 6:15 PM, we got my car and parked the truck at the house. Then, we went to Northfield, Minnesota, for the hotel.
This was a chaotic situation, especially when I was about 5 miles from home. I realized I had forgotten to pick up some items that had been delivered to the front porch. It wasn’t something we could leave there, so I turned around to get it while Shelley kept going. I had to use the app while driving—a pretty foolish idea—to order sandwiches from Jersey Mike's. I figured if Shelley stopped at Jersey Mike's. I just thought if Shelley stopped at Jersey Mike's, grabbed the sandwiches, and then headed to the hotel to check in, I might arrive just as she was ready to unload Jon.
That ended up being true, just as I was pulling into the Americinn in Northfield, MN, just as she was checking in and parking the car. We quickly got Jon out of the car and into the hotel room. He was exhausted! This is a tough drive for someone his age or a challenging ride. We quickly got him ready for dinner, but I decided to take a quick dip in the pool to cool off. After riding in that truck for 7 1/2 hours with no air conditioning and 95° heat, it was much needed. But we're both tired. It was about 9:45 before we finally went to bed. John had woken up about every 2 1/2 hours, needing to use the bathroom. The first time, Shelley did not need my assistance; the second time, she required help with the CPAP machine; and the third time, she needed help with John.
I woke up at 5:15 AM and went to the lobby to let Shelley sleep. At 6:15 AM, I grabbed a late breakfast and then returned to the room at 6:30 AM. Shelley and Jon were still sleeping, so I relaxed until about 7:15 AM when they both woke up. We got Jon ready for the day while I loaded the car. It was raining heavily, making it hard to load the car without getting completely wet. We timed it as best we could; we went down for breakfast around 9 AM, and around 9:45 AM, when there was a break in the rain, we tried to load him into the car. It was challenging at that time because Jon had been completely worn out from all the visitors the previous week and the drive.
We arrived at Suite Living by 10:05 AM. While Jon was checking in, we quickly unpacked some items and set up his room. We unpacked until about 11:00 AM, when I went to the store to pick up some supplies and tools from home. When I returned, I installed a second hanging bar and realized we needed to buy a toilet seat for his riser because the existing toilet could not be retrofitted.
Shelley and I went to Menards at 1 PM to pick up the toilet seat and other small items. Jon had taken a well-deserved break, so it was a perfect time for us to go. When we returned, I quickly installed the toilet seat and riser, just in time as I was fishing. Jon woke up and said he had to go to the bathroom.
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| Jon is out cold! |
Shelley and I were both exhausted, and it was getting late. It was about 5 o'clock when I decided to head home. Shelley would come around 6 PM, and we made a late dinner of leftovers before we both planned to go to bed early.
I was in bed by 8 PM and fell asleep by 9:15 PM. I don't know what time Shelley went to bed. I had to get up at 6:30 AM for an appointment to get my car fixed, or at least the oil changed, at 7 AM. I'm not sure why, but despite all the activity, I couldn't make a later appointment. However, I did manage to make one, especially since the rest of the day was quite busy with Shelley's appointments and our need to return the truck at 10 AM.
When I returned, Shelley mentioned that the lawn needed mowing! She also said the garbage can needed cleaning. So, we returned the truck, and I went home to do the chores while she went to her meeting. She came back around 3 PM, which surprised me because she was meeting her friends in Golden Valley at 5 PM. I told her that traffic would be terrible, and I thought she’d stay north of the metro to go straight to the restaurant. She said she needed to go to Trader Joe's, so she went. She left home around 4 o'clock to make the usual 30-minute trip to the dinner spot where she was meeting Data and Lana. I called her at 5:10 and asked how things were going. She said, "Oh my God, it's so terrible, and the traffic was bad." I expected she’d probably get there very late.
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