Have you ever wondered, “What if I don’t wake up tomorrow?” Does that thought ever cross your mind? With the crazy President some foolish people have elected, that thought may be more prevalent than we realize!
As I go to bed, I have this thought every night due to my recent health setback: I am taking each day as a new opportunity, even though I am also getting things in order. I might be selfish or peculiar because I don’t worry about how others will cope if I don’t wake up. Most people are doing just fine without my presence on Earth. I am there for them when they need a strong arm or a shoulder to lean on for emotional or physical support.
Missing humans are a part of life, whether it’s a spouse leaving, a child growing up, or a friend who dislikes you. We’ve all experienced this, and life continues. My goal is to sort through old things, gather financial documents to minimize estate issues, and leave work with precise information on completed tasks and next steps for easy project progression. If I don’t wake up, I want no burden on those left behind.
While there’s no definitive proof that I won’t wake up, several factors contribute to potential conflicts. Deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism always carry inherent risks. Pulmonary embolism can also lead to pulmonary hypertension, a condition characterized by excessively high blood pressure in the lungs and the right side of the heart. With numerous obstructions in the arteries within my lungs, my heart has to exert greater effort to pump blood through my vessels. This increased blood pressure within these vessels and the right side of the heart can weaken my heart. I visit the clinic twice a week for blood draws and monitoring, and for the first time in my life, my blood pressure consistently stands at 10 to 15 percent higher than it has been in the past decade.
I’m scheduled to see the heart specialist again next week. This is because I’ve been experiencing chest pain at least every other day, which is new and unexplained. They’ll also perform another CAT scan, and there’s a possibility that they might consider clot removal surgery. A few weeks after my hospital stay and warfarin treatment, there was a concern about a new clot. This may become more crucial if the heart specialist discovers any new issues.
Additionally, I’ll have the Capsule Endoscopy on Thursday to try and identify the bleeding that they suspect is causing my anemia. While it’s a straightforward procedure, I can’t help but feel apprehensive about a 360-degree camera passing through my body. Sometimes, it doesn’t pass, which is a concern. I’m hoping the camera passes through without any issues.
Life is quite peculiar, and going to sleep becomes more difficult when you’re constantly wondering if you’ll wake up in the morning. I’m certain I’ll wake up and everything will be fine, but I’m just tired of all the uncertainties.
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