I had a heart-to-heart with an old friend today. He’s been wearing a lot since his 17-year-old son committed suicide last summer. I could tell he still deals with the pain daily. He said it’s a painful way to live, waking up, going to work, and going to bed. I’ve been troubled by those who have taken their own lives. This is heavy on my mind as I met old friends again last week, and another increase in the number of people I know who have experienced a loved one ending their own life.
He pushed the suicide subject into our conversation, searching for an answer. He talked a lot about his son. One statement confused me: “Why is it when you have nothing to live for, you have so much inner strength, but when you have everything to live for, you want to die?” I spent a lot of time thinking about it.
I understand his meaning. I recall the time when I was struggling financially and needed to support my family. I worked, cared for my child, and slept between activities. I never felt lonely or underappreciated. My life is different now, with few responsibilities and no money issues. Yet, I feel a void with a lack of purpose. If that’s what he means, I understand.
On a positive note, my girlfriend, who had to euthanize her beloved dog in November, has decided to adopt a new puppy—a purebred Golden Retriever from Rolling Oaks Goldens. We visited the breeder today in preparation for the puppy’s pickup on April 17.
Pictures below:
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Besides seeing the adorable puppies, I also met a truly inspiring woman—a mother! She’s had her ups and downs, but she always keeps a positive attitude. She even wrote a book! It’s a two-part story about her life, touching on the tough times of tragedy, the wonderful joys of love and family, how her faith grew stronger, and how all of that prepared her for the incredible gift of Amy, her youngest daughter, who has Down syndrome. The book is intended to offer hope to mothers, families, and friends of individuals with special needs. It has a Christian perspective throughout. It’s called “Chosen For This Gift: My Story of Hope, Survival and Raising a Child with Special Needs.” I think it’s a book you should definitely read. It’s so heartfelt, and you’ll definitely feel her pain and unique way of finding joy, even when it feels like giving up is the only option.
I’m really hoping to get a copy signed by my friend. In these confusing times, anything like this should help, even if there aren’t any answers for suicide anywhere.
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