But grandpa, he looks funny!

My grandfather has been the subject of numerous blog posts. He recounted a story that defied logic, yet it profoundly underscores the love and care a parent provides to their child. It is a story that profoundly impacted my life.

My own son has faced numerous challenges, and if there were any way for me to emulate the actions of this father for his child, I would do so without hesitation. While I do not perceive the moral lesson conveyed in the following story from my grandfather, it prompted me to reflect on my own perceptions and the way I treat others. The story was of the following nature:

There was a farmer who had one eye. His son avoided him and thought his appearance was an embarrassment. He was always helping the neighbors in any way he could to raise a few more dollars to help his son.  One day during elementary school, he came to see his son. His son told his friend that the man wasn’t his father, but they knew.  He thought, “How could he do this to me?”  The next day at school, some of his classmates said, “EEEE, your dad only has one eye!” 

When the son came home, he told his father he wished he would disappear. His son exclaimed, “If you’re only going to make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?” 

The father did not respond. The son didn’t even stop thinking about what he had said because he was angry. The son was oblivious to his father’s feelings. 

The son wanted to leave that house and had nothing to do with his father. So, he studied really hard and earned the chance to study abroad.  Then, he got married, bought a house, and had kids.  The son was so happy with his life without his father.   

Then, one day, his father came to visit. He hadn’t seen him in years and had not even met his grandchildren. His son always told his family his parents were dead. The farmer was aware of his son's success and happiness but was concerned about the embarrassment he would have caused, so he stayed away. 

His children laughed at his father when the son stood by the door.  The son yelled at him for coming over uninvited. He screamed, “How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!”   

And to this, his father quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address.” Then he disappeared, telling the family it was an old co-worker.

One day, the son was informed of a school reunion.  After the reunion, he went to the old farm just out of curiosity.  The neighbors said that his father had died.  The son did not shed a single tear. The neighbors handed him a letter that his father had wanted him to have.

  

“My dearest son, 

I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.  I came to see you as I had liver failure and needed a donor.  If you read this letter, a donor was not found.  I think it is essential you know when you were very little, there was an accident, and you lost your eye.  As a father, I wouldn’t say I liked watching you having to grow up with one eye.  So I gave you mine. 

I am so proud of you!  You are seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. 

With all my love to you, 

Your father.”

I vividly recall the initial time my grandfather shared this narrative with the grandchildren. We had recently encountered a child belonging to my grandfather’s neighbor. At the age of six that summer (the specific year is intentionally omitted), I was deeply affected by the child’s severe Down syndrome. The five grandchildren exhibited a lack of friendliness towards me, and I found myself feeling uncomfortable. I stared at the child and reacted rudely, uncertain of how to proceed. My grandfather then led the children into the living room, retrieved the Bible (a constant companion during his storytelling), and commenced the narrative.

Over the years, I have developed close friendships with individuals with Down syndrome, as well as with individuals who are overweight, unusual, or have other physical characteristics that may be considered different from the norm. I have come to realize that those who are less fortunate have an abundance of valuable qualities to offer everyone if we are willing to transcend our differences.

Thanks, Grandpa!

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!