Skip this venting exercise. I’m grumpy and disappointed about recent events. I was looking forward to volunteering at Zumbro, but my job requires me to be in New Orleans.
I watch the Olympics, but the US lost in curling.
I stepped on the scale after 5 weeks of working out and feeling better. I did 2 hours and 15 minutes of biking and lifted weights yesterday. I log 120-150 minutes of aerobic exercise with a heart rate between 100-120 BPM two days a week. I work out before work and do 45 minutes at lunch five days a week. I also get an hour in on average four nights a week. I’ve been tracking my food intake on three programs, and they all show I should have a calorie deficit. I was excited to see a good number, but I gained 5 pounds, bringing my total to 269 pounds. That’s 57 pounds more than when I finished the Superior 50-mile race and 39 pounds more than when I completed the ST 100.
Crushing, I just can not help it, but once again, being fat is just hard to accept as I am working so hard!!! It brought back memories. We all have stories of our lives that we hold deep inside, especially those of us who were fat children, then lost weight and became fat as adults, then lost weight and became fat again. But as a child, I clearly recall the shame that only fat children really know and understand. I have been there. In the 7th grade, I weighed 21 pounds less than I do now, weighing in at a good solid 248 pounds. I am three inches taller now.
Societal standards taught me at an early age that being fat was unacceptable. I learned this well. Fortunately, I don’t feel that way as an adult, but I still have the scars of being called “porky” in 7th grade. Family, school, and doctors pressured me to eat more, and I still feel that pressure as an adult struggling with weight.
I now use “fat” as a descriptor, but other names like chunky monkey, husky, and butter balls still stick. Some people struggle with the phobia of being fat. I’ve learned that the term “fat” is okay and use it here. But what does this have to do with this blog?
This blog’s goal has always been simple...to share and to learn. Everyone has had different life experiences, some great and some horrific. How life goes, how to train, eat, and overcome injury. I decided to change the blog to a daily weight, exercise, and calorie diary, but that is so boring. What will I do? Weigh myself daily? I need to re-evaluate my food intake. Do I do as people say you never should, going less than 1,200 calories? According to the programs, I have averaged about 1,900 calories a day over the past 5 weeks, with an average calories burned during exercise 1,100. Just makes no sense! No sense at all? The numbers say one thing, but does the body tell another?
I’ve had breathing issues since the 2008 Psycho-Wyco. I feel great when I work out, but I can’t breathe and cough all day unless I’m working out. Earlier this week, I coughed for at least 10 minutes and struggled to breathe to the point of tears.
It’s been a recurring issue for the past two years, but now I can’t resist hacking every 15 minutes. In two years, I’ve visited the doctor four times, had chest x-rays, antibiotics, inhalers, and a nebulizer, but it persists. This month, my coughing is severe, causing my head to bulge and eye pain during episodes. With my weight gain, I closely monitor my food intake and discussed this long-term issue with my doctor. As a result, I’ll take a few days off from working out and visit the doctor for tests on Friday.
At that time, I will decide where to go with the blog. I no longer have the goal to run again and race again. My first goal this year was to deal once again with this weight issue and then see where it takes me. My goal had been 230 pounds 65 days from now. To do that, I need to lose one pound every 1.66 days (3.87 pounds per week) to make that goal. I do not think that is possible or healthy, so I will have the blood drawn. I will seek a hormone test as well. No doubt there is something F%#$ed up. I am just out of questions and seeking answers. Do any of you have any ideas?
Carry on my friends, carry on!
Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.
Londell, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry and can feel your frustration and sadness through your words. Don't blame yourself; something is going on, and I'm happy that you are taking some time to figure it out. My gut tells me that you aren't getting enough calories over what you are exercising off so maybe your metabolism is shutting down- just my uneducated take on it. My prayers are with you and I hope you get rid of that cough and feel better soon. Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 10:30:42 PM CST
This is a rough time for you. I can imagine your frustration given all you have been doing. Remember that it's still worth it to feel that boost from physical effort even if you are not dropping pounds. Though I know that's not very helpful right now. Definitely worth getting some tests done to know if there is something else going on. Don't give up. Try to keep focused on the emotional and mental benefits of working out even when the physical results are not evident. Write when you feel like it. We'll be here to read it. Helen. Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 12:32:20 AM CST
Sorry to hear about your struggles, but I'm glad that you're seeing your Doc again to get things figured out. Sounds to me like you aren't eating enough, and your metabolism is shutting down, as Beth suggested. You can use a calculator to figure out an intake estimate at http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm. Go with "fat loss" not "extreme fat loss" if you expect to lose weight and keep it off. The "zig zag" method is also more effective for most people. Beyond the number of calories you're consuming is the quality of food. You can't out-train a crappy diet, and you need proper nutrition while still controlling caloric intake. Getting the right combo of carbs, protein, and fats at every meal can affect how your body responds to food (blood sugar level, insulin response, lipid response, etc). I don't know what your max heart rate is, but an exercise heart rate of 100-120 sounds low. Higher intensity interval training will be more effective than steady state aerobic training for fat loss, but get the "breathing thing" figured out with your Doc before starting intervals. Lifting light weights will not accomplish much on the weight loss front either, though it is necessary to start with lighter weights to strengthen connective tissues before going to heavier lifts to avoid injury. Lifting weights in the intensity zone of 8-12 reps with short rest periods (60 sec) produces the most effective hormone response to help with fat loss. With higher intensity exercise, you shouldn't need to spend 2-3 hours working out every day either since your metabolism will be revved up long after the exercise session has ended. Hang in there Londell! Run when it's fun, do something else when it isn't. We're all here for you : Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 10:04:08 AM CST
Okay, take a deep breath. It's not the end of the world. You were saying not long ago that you felt good and now you've let a number ruin that. Screw the number. You were saying at one time that you thought your clothes might be a bit looser; could it be that you've gained a little muscle mass through the inclined treadmill and weights? Hang in there. We're all pulling for you Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 10:17:34 AM CST
Londell I know you can do it. We can all surmise the root cause of your issue, but if you feel you are 100% stumped on this one, get a professional opinion. Something else could be going on that no one but actual medical docs and dieticians can help you with. You obviously have the determination and a positive attitude in your corner, so, like Quick said, don't let a number on the scale be the final judge. Like you say...carry on Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 11:52:15 AM CST
This comment has been removed by the author. Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 11:52:16 AM CST
Londell - the folks above me have given some great advice. See the doc and make sure that they don't find anything. I know how frustrating it can be, cut yourself some slack and keep working out as it is good for the mind regardless of the impact on the weight. You will find the solution so keep pressing on until you do. Best of luck! Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 8:12:56 PM CST
Londell, stay persistent and don't worry about the scale. My advice would be to rely on measurements rather than a scale. One's weight can fluctuate due to water gain/loss as well as muscle gain. Another suggestion would be to cut way back on the high glycemic load foods such as bread, potatoes, and pasta. They will spike your insulin system and put your body into fat storage mode. Stick to meats, fruits, veg, and nuts and you'll see the pounds come off.
Also, take doctors' and dietitian's advice with a grain of salt. Most doctor's are too apt to throw medication at problems rather than find the root cause, and dietitians too often just worry about caloric intake. If these folks are cutting the mustard for you, seek some other advice. And last of all, keep expressing your feelings. It's a healthy and normal thing to do. We're all here in support of you. Now carry on! :) Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 8:20:46 PM CST
Good grief, did I really misspell "dietician" that many times? Oy vey!! Note to self, no posting when tired and sleepy.........Friday, February 26, 2010 at 9:57:47 PM CST
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