Random thoughts

I ran yesterday. And I ache today. I feel like a rookie all over again!

I’ve read many blogs about 2008 and eagerly await more in 2009. The recent messages tend to be overwhelmingly positive or negative, but everyone hopes for 2009. Surprisingly, we’re all better off than most of the world. We exercise, have food and housing, great friends, and smiles.

Despite our dislikes, some have had the worst DNF experiences. The death of a friend or relative is the ultimate DNF, ending our time with them and our desires. But I recall some of my own deaths. I keep coming back to the death of my 3-year-old nephew, Aaron. I often hear the words of an unknown pastor: “Aaron didn’t DNF; he lived his life fully.” His three years were full and complete, despite our expectations of life being 70 or 80 years.

It’s hard to shake off my expectations about my time on earth, including race times, distances, and weight goals. But life is dull and empty without them. Where’s the balance? I’ll never know, but I’ll think about it.

I’ve never been absent-minded. Perhaps that’s the wrong way to describe myself. Not intense enough? The truth is, I can’t stop thinking. When bored, my mind drifts, exploring situations and ideas. One day, I played the “what if” game: what if I were born a monkey? What if I could read minds? What if I hadn’t broken up with Shari Felted in high school? Then a more troubling thought entered my mind, and I haven’t been able to shake it since.

What if there were an epidemic?

What if a new disease devastates the population, and vaccines are scarce? This thought lingers in my mind. Epidemics are natural occurrences, similar to tornadoes, hurricanes, and earthquakes, but they can be far more devastating. While natural disasters affect a small area, diseases transcend geographical boundaries, infecting anyone and everywhere. They spread relentlessly, leaving devastation in their wake.

In the event of a pandemic emerging in contemporary America, the question arises regarding the allocation of limited medical resources and vaccines. How would we determine who should receive treatment and who may not be prioritized?

It’s a tough choice when forced to play god. Who should be treated? The elderly, the sick, the mentally ill? Or the wealthy who can afford it? Who can make this decision? Morals and family ties complicate matters. How would you justify it? Kill a few to save many? It’s scary to think of such a situation. What would you do? It may be a moot question, but it occupies my mind.

As I began 2009, I thought about such things when I had nothing else to do. I think about things I can never answer or hope to answer. I’m thankful for what I have, despite my flaws and issues.

Carry on my friends, carry on!