Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Epiphany arrived

In my last post, I sought an Epiphany—an unexpected emotional boost to enjoy life more. Yesterday, I had it. I was getting bike gear at Eric’s Bike Shop. I noticed a woman and thought, “I know her,” but couldn’t place her. I stared at her again, and she was looking at road bikes. I knew her, but why and where? My memory issues since my concussion last summer made it hard. Another minute passed, and I still couldn’t place her.


Then I looked to my right and exclaimed, “O’Neal.” She smiled and said, “Yes.” It was O’Neal Hampton from The Biggest Loser, and that girl was Sunshine. They’re in the home part of the show. They’ve been home for about 12 weeks and have about 4 weeks left. She looked great! He’s done well, but she was hard to recognize. Her cheekbones shone through, not in a bad way.


We couldn’t discuss the show, but I spoke to O’Neal about various topics for 15 minutes. If Sunshine enjoys running, I suggested she join MNDRS and organize trail runs. I told her about my ultra idol, Julie, her love for the show, and how she’d run any pace to discuss her experience. I also mentioned that veteran trail runners prioritize camaraderie and the joy of the trails, not just pace. We hoped she wouldn’t feel inadequate, as the pleasure of the run mattered most. Afterward, I regretted not suggesting UMTR. Sunshine, if you read this, check out UTMR too.


O’Neal seemed more genuine and authentic than someone on the show. I was impressed by their journey and the time they took to speak with me like a friend. It had a positive impact on me. I’ve watched O’Neal lose a lot of weight, and I complain about my own weight, but I feel physically better. As a result, I ran 3.3 miles in 35 minutes, biked 28 miles, and lifted weights today. My computer program showed a negative daily calorie intake, and I felt great.


ATTITUDE! That is the difference. The desired epiphany is here. I do not know how long it will last, but I will ride this as long as possible! There is nothing like a great Epiphany.


Carry on my friends!


Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.


SteveQ
Londell's back! Yay!  Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 10:09:56 AM CDT
Beth
Well, you asked for an epiphany and you certainly got one. That's so cool that you ran into them and they were so nice and inspiring. Very exciting!  Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 8:54:43 PM CDT
Matthew Patten
Londell,  I believe one of the great gifts one can give is the gift of being inspired.  It sounds a little backwards, but if one is inspired by something I do, it gives me a ton of motivation for a long time.  Many times it is not the race which is rewarding, it is the journey to get there.  Did that make any sense?  Thursday, April 22, 2010 at 6:53:02 AM CDT
Julie B
Oh my gosh, Londell, thanks for telling me so! Wow. What would I have done had I run into Sunshine and O'Neal? I probably would have embarrassed myself. Wow. Cool. Real. Cool.  OK, the 310XT. I am trying to download the software and need help to succeed. I HATE TECHY STUFF. I keep getting the error "device not supported" well hello there is no device shoved into my usb port so what exactly is not supported. Gah. Support is closed til Monday. Grr.  Friday, April 23, 2010 at 6:55:40 PM CDT
JojaJogger
Wow that is great that you got to meet Sunshine and O'Neal! Glad to hear they provided you your epiphany. Excellent job on the running and biking, too!  Sunday, April 25, 2010 at 9:00:14 PM CDT

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I need an EPIPHANY

After an extended hiatus, I am pleased to share a brief update on my well-being. The arrival of spring has infused me with renewed joy and a more optimistic outlook.


Before delving into the title, I would like to provide an update on my physical fitness regimen. I have been incorporating running and cycling into my daily routine, and my leg strength has noticeably improved. Although I occasionally experience morning soreness, it is minimal and does not pose any significant concerns. In the past few weeks, I have completed several bike rides exceeding 30 miles in a single day.


While my progress is encouraging, I recognize the need for a significant boost in my motivation and direction. I am seeking an epiphany, a moment of profound insight that will propel me forward. As we all have experienced, such moments can transform our lives.


You know, that time in your life when something strange happens that has a long-term impact on your life. A single momentary act that has more power than anything we could imagine. An Epiphany! That is what I call it.


Epiphany is defined as "a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience."


Many individuals associate epiphanies with religious experiences. The Western Christian tradition commences on January 6th as Epiphany Day. However, this event is also recognized by various cultural names. In Hispanic or Latin American cultures and numerous European regions, it is commonly referred to as Three Kings Day. Epiphany holds diverse religious connotations.


Throughout my life, I have experienced numerous epiphanies. The initial kiss from an individual who surpassed my social status significantly enhanced my self-esteem. The profound gaze of a person on the brink of death, whose life was tragically cut short by a severe car accident, left an indelible impression on me. The final words of wisdom imparted by my 99-year-old grandfather, who had lived a full and fulfilling life, resonated deeply within me. Holding my infant child for the first time marked the day when I finally comprehended the complexities of Quantum Mechanics during my college studies.


In 2006, I met a friend who profoundly impacted my life, much like an epiphany. I am deeply grateful to her for illuminating the brighter aspects of life. She consistently reached out to me, ensuring my well-being during a challenging period characterized by both physical and emotional hardships. Her adept handling of her recent personal struggles, including the loss of her husband, instilled strength within me. She inspired me to undertake endeavors that I had previously deemed impossible. This pivotal moment served as a necessary catalyst after several years of setbacks and negativity. While our friendship exhibited unique characteristics, it nonetheless constituted an epiphany for me.


At the 44th mile of the Superior 50-mile trail, I experienced a profound realization that propelled me to complete the race. My post on that event included the following information:



At 1:57 PM, I was on my way, feeling good. Then came the rocks. I climbed, climbed, and climbed. Finally, I felt dizzy, sick, and totally spent. I reached the top, lay on the rock, and cried. I decided I could no longer go on; my heart was heavy. I was going to lie there until someone came and got me. After a few minutes, some rock climbers asked if I was OK. I said yes, I needed a break, opened my pack, and found the 25 notes my girlfriend had passed all over the motel room the night before. I placed them in the pack that morning in case I needed inspiration. I started to read them. The quotes were such as "It hurts up to a point, and then it does not get any worse" from Ann Trason, the Ron Hill quote, "Get going, get up and walk if you have to, but finish the damned race," and Robert Frost "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." I thought about my Promise to Dana that "we would finish" the race. I thought about how she died while trying to get in better shape. At that moment, I looked at the sky, and the sun hit my face with extraordinary strength. I felt my heart expand. I imagined how the Grinch felt as his heart grew three sizes. I looked at the rock climbers and said, "I am going to finish this race." I got up, put the notes in my pack, and felt terrific. I started running. I got to the Britton station, smiling, laughing, and having a good time. 12:31:11. Not bad considering I bawled on the rocks for an undetermined amount of time. I hugged my girlfriend and told her I would finish. I felt like no hand pain, ankle pain, or heart pain could stop me.


This is an epiphany! I genuinely need an epiphany like this right now. Although it may not be present now, I am sure that it will strike me in the future. These peculiar thoughts have resurfaced in my mind.


I recall that during my high school years, Sheri Fjelstad ended our relationship. I turned on the radio and listened to Cliff Richard singing “We Don’t Talk Anymore.” We never communicated again—an epiphany of a different kind, messages at an unexpected time. This was the ideal epiphany that I needed at that particular moment. It reminded me that regardless of our actions, simple things can either bring us happiness or alleviate sadness.


Additionally, there are instances of random acts of kindness that can be considered epiphanies. These unselfish actions make life full and fulfilling beyond what I often acknowledge. The opportunity will likely present itself soon; I hope I possess the kindness and knowledge to seize it. I am confident that many of you have experienced these special thoughts on numerous occasions while attempting to complete a 100-mile race. I plan to complete a 100-mile run someday to ascertain whether it will provide me with the elusive epiphany or deliver a satisfying and rewarding experience.


Until I have further insights to share or finally attain my long-awaited enlightenment. A 100-mile run someday to ascertain whether it will provide me with the elusive epiphany or merely deliver a satisfying and rewarding experience. That concludes my thoughts.


Until I have more to say or finally get my much-needed Epiphany. Carry on, my friends!!!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Scale suck! So does being FAT

Skip this venting exercise. I’m grumpy and disappointed about recent events. I was looking forward to volunteering at Zumbro, but my job requires me to be in New Orleans.


I watch the Olympics, but the US lost in curling.


I stepped on the scale after 5 weeks of working out and feeling better. I did 2 hours and 15 minutes of biking and lifted weights yesterday. I log 120-150 minutes of aerobic exercise with a heart rate between 100-120 BPM two days a week. I work out before work and do 45 minutes at lunch five days a week. I also get an hour in on average four nights a week. I’ve been tracking my food intake on three programs, and they all show I should have a calorie deficit. I was excited to see a good number, but I gained 5 pounds, bringing my total to 269 pounds. That’s 57 pounds more than when I finished the Superior 50-mile race and 39 pounds more than when I completed the ST 100.


Crushing, I just can not help it, but once again, being fat is just hard to accept as I am working so hard!!! It brought back memories. We all have stories of our lives that we hold deep inside, especially those of us who were fat children, then lost weight and became fat as adults, then lost weight and became fat again. But as a child, I clearly recall the shame that only fat children really know and understand. I have been there. In the 7th grade, I weighed 21 pounds less than I do now, weighing in at a good solid 248 pounds. I am three inches taller now.


Societal standards taught me at an early age that being fat was unacceptable. I learned this well. Fortunately, I don’t feel that way as an adult, but I still have the scars of being called “porky” in 7th grade. Family, school, and doctors pressured me to eat more, and I still feel that pressure as an adult struggling with weight.


I now use “fat” as a descriptor, but other names like chunky monkey, husky, and butter balls still stick. Some people struggle with the phobia of being fat. I’ve learned that the term “fat” is okay and use it here. But what does this have to do with this blog? 


This blog’s goal has always been simple...to share and to learn. Everyone has had different life experiences, some great and some horrific. How life goes, how to train, eat, and overcome injury. I decided to change the blog to a daily weight, exercise, and calorie diary, but that is so boring. What will I do? Weigh myself daily? I need to re-evaluate my food intake. Do I do as people say you never should, going less than 1,200 calories? According to the programs, I have averaged about 1,900 calories a day over the past 5 weeks, with an average calories burned during exercise 1,100. Just makes no sense! No sense at all? The numbers say one thing, but does the body tell another?


I’ve had breathing issues since the 2008 Psycho-Wyco. I feel great when I work out, but I can’t breathe and cough all day unless I’m working out. Earlier this week, I coughed for at least 10 minutes and struggled to breathe to the point of tears.


It’s been a recurring issue for the past two years, but now I can’t resist hacking every 15 minutes. In two years, I’ve visited the doctor four times, had chest x-rays, antibiotics, inhalers, and a nebulizer, but it persists. This month, my coughing is severe, causing my head to bulge and eye pain during episodes. With my weight gain, I closely monitor my food intake and discussed this long-term issue with my doctor. As a result, I’ll take a few days off from working out and visit the doctor for tests on Friday.


At that time, I will decide where to go with the blog. I no longer have the goal to run again and race again. My first goal this year was to deal once again with this weight issue and then see where it takes me. My goal had been 230 pounds 65 days from now. To do that, I need to lose one pound every 1.66 days (3.87 pounds per week) to make that goal. I do not think that is possible or healthy, so I will have the blood drawn. I will seek a hormone test as well. No doubt there is something F%#$ed up. I am just out of questions and seeking answers. Do any of you have any ideas?


Carry on my friends, carry on!


Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.


Beth
Londell, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry and can feel your frustration and sadness through your words. Don't blame yourself; something is going on, and I'm happy that you are taking some time to figure it out. My gut tells me that you aren't getting enough calories over what you are exercising off so maybe your metabolism is shutting down- just my uneducated take on it. My prayers are with you and I hope you get rid of that cough and feel better soon. Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 10:30:42 PM CST
Helen
This is a rough time for you. I can imagine your frustration given all you have been doing. Remember that it's still worth it to feel that boost from physical effort even if you are not dropping pounds. Though I know that's not very helpful right now. Definitely worth getting some tests done to know if there is something else going on. Don't give up. Try to keep focused on the emotional and mental benefits of working out even when the physical results are not evident.  Write when you feel like it. We'll be here to read it.   Helen. Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 12:32:20 AM CST
Kel
Sorry to hear about your struggles, but I'm glad that you're seeing your Doc again to get things figured out.  Sounds to me like you aren't eating enough, and your metabolism is shutting down, as Beth suggested. You can use a calculator to figure out an intake estimate at http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm. Go with "fat loss" not "extreme fat loss" if you expect to lose weight and keep it off. The "zig zag" method is also more effective for most people.  Beyond the number of calories you're consuming is the quality of food. You can't out-train a crappy diet, and you need proper nutrition while still controlling caloric intake. Getting the right combo of carbs, protein, and fats at every meal can affect how your body responds to food (blood sugar level, insulin response, lipid response, etc). I don't know what your max heart rate is, but an exercise heart rate of 100-120 sounds low. Higher intensity interval training will be more effective than steady state aerobic training for fat loss, but get the "breathing thing" figured out with your Doc before starting intervals.  Lifting light weights will not accomplish much on the weight loss front either, though it is necessary to start with lighter weights to strengthen connective tissues before going to heavier lifts to avoid injury. Lifting weights in the intensity zone of 8-12 reps with short rest periods (60 sec) produces the most effective hormone response to help with fat loss. With higher intensity exercise, you shouldn't need to spend 2-3 hours working out every day either since your metabolism will be revved up long after the exercise session has ended.  Hang in there Londell! Run when it's fun, do something else when it isn't. We're all here for you :  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 10:04:08 AM CST
SteveQ
Okay, take a deep breath. It's not the end of the world. You were saying not long ago that you felt good and now you've let a number ruin that. Screw the number. You were saying at one time that you thought your clothes might be a bit looser; could it be that you've gained a little muscle mass through the inclined treadmill and weights?  Hang in there. We're all pulling for you  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 10:17:34 AM CST
Bill S
Londell I know you can do it. We can all surmise the root cause of your issue, but if you feel you are 100% stumped on this one, get a professional opinion. Something else could be going on that no one but actual medical docs and dieticians can help you with. You obviously have the determination and a positive attitude in your corner, so, like Quick said, don't let a number on the scale be the final judge. Like you say...carry on  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 11:52:15 AM CST
Bill S
This comment has been removed by the author.  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 11:52:16 AM CST
Mike W.
Londell - the folks above me have given some great advice. See the doc and make sure that they don't find anything. I know how frustrating it can be, cut yourself some slack and keep working out as it is good for the mind regardless of the impact on the weight. You will find the solution so keep pressing on until you do. Best of luck!   Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 8:12:56 PM CST
Steve
Londell, stay persistent and don't worry about the scale. My advice would be to rely on measurements rather than a scale. One's weight can fluctuate due to water gain/loss as well as muscle gain. Another suggestion would be to cut way back on the high glycemic load foods such as bread, potatoes, and pasta. They will spike your insulin system and put your body into fat storage mode. Stick to meats, fruits, veg, and nuts and you'll see the pounds come off. 
Also, take doctors' and dietitian's advice with a grain of salt. Most doctor's are too apt to throw medication at problems rather than find the root cause, and dietitians too often just worry about caloric intake. If these folks are cutting the mustard for you, seek some other advice. And last of all, keep expressing your feelings. It's a healthy and normal thing to do. We're all here in support of you. Now carry on! :)
  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 8:20:46 PM CST

Steve
Good grief, did I really misspell "dietician" that many times? Oy vey!! Note to self, no posting when tired and sleepy.........Friday, February 26, 2010 at 9:57:47 PM CST

Friday, February 12, 2010

Recent information

I was so excited to read about the amazing successes in the recent ultra races! I mean, who wouldn’t be impressed by John Taylor’s incredible 59 hours and 11 minutes at Arrowhead 135? It’s incredible to think about how far he’s come and how much courage it takes to keep going when you’re at the back of the pack. It’s truly inspiring! I hope he gives a report about his race. Karen is a bit of a down-to-earth person, but she’s still incredibly talented. She finished the Rocky Racoon 100 in 27:45:02, which is an amazing time. Wayne Nelson, on the other hand, was a bit more competitive and finished the 50-mile race in 12:16:58. But he didn’t give up on Karen and went back to support her. It’s clear that both of them are hard workers and that their success is a result of their dedication and perseverance.


I still need to weigh myself, but I’m more focused on my workouts and diet at the moment. I’m up to 45-60 minutes on the bike at lunch, 60 minutes on the elliptical at least four days a week, and three days of weightlifting. I feel stronger, but my clothes fit differently. I got a hug and someone said I was “less round,” but I’m not sure if that was a compliment. I took it as a compliment, though. I’ll keep pushing myself, and I think I’m becoming more comfortable each week. I’ll extend my workouts by 5-10% and let the rest take its course.


Guess what? I got a call from an old friend I hadn’t seen in ages! She left a voicemail at my old workplace when I switched to a new phone a few years back. She didn’t have my new number, but she remembered where I worked. I called her back, and she filled me in on all the exciting stuff in her life. She recently got engaged! Remember when we met in 2006? She was in a long-term relationship, and I tried to encourage her to explore other options because she seemed really unhappy. Well, she met her fiancé in 2008, and she’s so happy now! She’s also doing really well at her job and still wants to have kids. But as we talked, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad amidst all the happiness.


She spoke of her father’s hospitalization after Christmas due to lung cancer (Mesothelioma). A contractor, he’d demolished asbestos-filled structures before the danger was known. Angry that he didn’t fight for life, she regretted her words and left the room when he passed. Crying, she expressed sadness about her words and his loss of will to fight. This left me speechless. I usually have an opinion, but this made me think.


Given my advanced age and the imminent growth of my child (who is soon to be 21), I have found myself contemplating the challenges faced by parents like myself. I shared with her that one of the most arduous periods in the lives of many parents is witnessing the remarkable transformation of their children into well-adjusted adults while simultaneously grappling with the realization that our involvement in their lives may eventually come to an end. I emphasized that parenting has been an experience that simultaneously brings immense frustration and profound fulfillment.


In response to my inquiry about her father’s wisdom, she expressed her admiration for his intelligence and compassion. Subsequently, I posed a hypothetical scenario: if her father were participating in a 100-mile race, would he be able to discern when it had concluded? Furthermore, if he desired to discontinue the race, would she be permitted to address him in a manner that might motivate him to complete it? It is important to note that some of these suggestions may not be the most flattering.


She expressed that he possessed a profound understanding of his physical well-being and capabilities. Subsequently, I inquired about her reasons for questioning his decision to cease fighting cancer, given his knowledge of her limitations and inability to comprehend the situation. I informed her that I frequently encounter such individuals who have demonstrated remarkable resilience in battling a disease. At some point, they attain a state of knowledge and acceptance of their journey. He was aware that his decision would likely cause distress to those who loved him, leading me to believe that the words he left behind were not intended to cause harm, but rather to convey his understanding. After all, he was a wise man.


I requested that she look in the mirror and smile. Her father was present, and she needed to be joyful about her upcoming marriage and the prospect of parenthood. It would be an extraordinary experience; she would have him and his memories as one of the most valuable guides. She should not be saddened but rather grateful for having a caring father who possessed the wisdom and knowledge to make the best decisions as a parent and an individual. I discerned a hint of happiness in her smile.


In response to her inquiry about my life, I informed her that I had to depart due to the limited depth of my experiences. She requested my address and expressed a desire to schedule a meeting in the near future. After our conversation, we disconnected. I anticipate receiving a wedding invitation in the near future, but the timing of our next conversation remains uncertain. I am perplexed by the contemporary phenomenon of failing to maintain consistent contact with friends through electronic communication. However, similarly to her father, we harbor a desire to engage in activities when opportunities arise.


Carry on my friends, carry on!



Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.


Helen
Difficult enough to lose a parent but under those circumstances very hard to deal with. I expect your conversation helped your friend immensely. The fact that she called you in the first place says a lot - and I am sure she was very glad she did.  Great progress on the workouts! Friday, February 12, 2010 at 8:37:21 PM CST
Beth
I'm glad you were there for your old friend. Obviously, she knew that you were an ear that she could depend on. Great job with the workouts and yes, I would take less round as a compliment. :) Monday, February 15, 2010 at 9:38:02 PM CST

I am 64

Waking up at 3:45 AM and getting ready for race day (Pilot Mountain to Hanging Rock 50 Mile) set the tone for an intense experience. Picking...