Scale suck! So does being FAT

Skip this venting exercise. I’m grumpy and disappointed about recent events. I was looking forward to volunteering at Zumbro, but my job requires me to be in New Orleans.

I watch the Olympics, but the US lost in curling.

I stepped on the scale after 5 weeks of working out and feeling better. I did 2 hours and 15 minutes of biking and lifted weights yesterday. I log 120-150 minutes of aerobic exercise with a heart rate between 100-120 BPM two days a week. I work out before work and do 45 minutes at lunch five days a week. I also get an hour in on average four nights a week. I’ve been tracking my food intake on three programs, and they all show I should have a calorie deficit. I was excited to see a good number, but I gained 5 pounds, bringing my total to 269 pounds. That’s 57 pounds more than when I finished the Superior 50-mile race and 39 pounds more than when I completed the ST 100.

Crushing, I just can not help it, but once again, being fat is just hard to accept as I am working so hard!!! It brought back memories. We all have stories of our lives that we hold deep inside, especially those of us who were fat children, then lost weight and became fat as adults, then lost weight and became fat again. But as a child, I clearly recall the shame that only fat children really know and understand. I have been there. In the 7th grade, I weighed 21 pounds less than I do now, weighing in at a good solid 248 pounds. I am three inches taller now.

Societal standards taught me at an early age that being fat was unacceptable. I learned this well. Fortunately, I don’t feel that way as an adult, but I still have the scars of being called “porky” in 7th grade. Family, school, and doctors pressured me to eat more, and I still feel that pressure as an adult struggling with weight.

I now use “fat” as a descriptor, but other names like chunky monkey, husky, and butter balls still stick. Some people struggle with the phobia of being fat. I’ve learned that the term “fat” is okay and use it here. But what does this have to do with this blog? 

This blog’s goal has always been simple...to share and to learn. Everyone has had different life experiences, some great and some horrific. How life goes, how to train, eat, and overcome injury. I decided to change the blog to a daily weight, exercise, and calorie diary, but that is so boring. What will I do? Weigh myself daily? I need to re-evaluate my food intake. Do I do as people say you never should, going less than 1,200 calories? According to the programs, I have averaged about 1,900 calories a day over the past 5 weeks, with an average calories burned during exercise 1,100. Just makes no sense! No sense at all? The numbers say one thing, but does the body tell another?

I’ve had breathing issues since the 2008 Psycho-Wyco. I feel great when I work out, but I can’t breathe and cough all day unless I’m working out. Earlier this week, I coughed for at least 10 minutes and struggled to breathe to the point of tears.

It’s been a recurring issue for the past two years, but now I can’t resist hacking every 15 minutes. In two years, I’ve visited the doctor four times, had chest x-rays, antibiotics, inhalers, and a nebulizer, but it persists. This month, my coughing is severe, causing my head to bulge and eye pain during episodes. With my weight gain, I closely monitor my food intake and discussed this long-term issue with my doctor. As a result, I’ll take a few days off from working out and visit the doctor for tests on Friday.

At that time, I will decide where to go with the blog. I no longer have the goal to run again and race again. My first goal this year was to deal once again with this weight issue and then see where it takes me. My goal had been 230 pounds 65 days from now. To do that, I need to lose one pound every 1.66 days (3.87 pounds per week) to make that goal. I do not think that is possible or healthy, so I will have the blood drawn. I will seek a hormone test as well. No doubt there is something F%#$ed up. I am just out of questions and seeking answers. Do any of you have any ideas?

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

Beth

Londell, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry and can feel your frustration and sadness through your words. Don't blame yourself; something is going on, and I'm happy that you are taking some time to figure it out. My gut tells me that you aren't getting enough calories over what you are exercising off so maybe your metabolism is shutting down- just my uneducated take on it. My prayers are with you and I hope you get rid of that cough and feel better soon. Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 10:30:42 PM CST

Helen

This is a rough time for you. I can imagine your frustration given all you have been doing. Remember that it's still worth it to feel that boost from physical effort even if you are not dropping pounds. Though I know that's not very helpful right now. Definitely worth getting some tests done to know if there is something else going on. Don't give up. Try to keep focused on the emotional and mental benefits of working out even when the physical results are not evident.  Write when you feel like it. We'll be here to read it.   Helen. Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 12:32:20 AM CST

Kel

Sorry to hear about your struggles, but I'm glad that you're seeing your Doc again to get things figured out.  Sounds to me like you aren't eating enough, and your metabolism is shutting down, as Beth suggested. You can use a calculator to figure out an intake estimate at http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm. Go with "fat loss" not "extreme fat loss" if you expect to lose weight and keep it off. The "zig zag" method is also more effective for most people.  Beyond the number of calories you're consuming is the quality of food. You can't out-train a crappy diet, and you need proper nutrition while still controlling caloric intake. Getting the right combo of carbs, protein, and fats at every meal can affect how your body responds to food (blood sugar level, insulin response, lipid response, etc). I don't know what your max heart rate is, but an exercise heart rate of 100-120 sounds low. Higher intensity interval training will be more effective than steady state aerobic training for fat loss, but get the "breathing thing" figured out with your Doc before starting intervals.  Lifting light weights will not accomplish much on the weight loss front either, though it is necessary to start with lighter weights to strengthen connective tissues before going to heavier lifts to avoid injury. Lifting weights in the intensity zone of 8-12 reps with short rest periods (60 sec) produces the most effective hormone response to help with fat loss. With higher intensity exercise, you shouldn't need to spend 2-3 hours working out every day either since your metabolism will be revved up long after the exercise session has ended.  Hang in there Londell! Run when it's fun, do something else when it isn't. We're all here for you :  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 10:04:08 AM CST

SteveQ

Okay, take a deep breath. It's not the end of the world. You were saying not long ago that you felt good and now you've let a number ruin that. Screw the number. You were saying at one time that you thought your clothes might be a bit looser; could it be that you've gained a little muscle mass through the inclined treadmill and weights?  Hang in there. We're all pulling for you  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 10:17:34 AM CST

Bill S

Londell I know you can do it. We can all surmise the root cause of your issue, but if you feel you are 100% stumped on this one, get a professional opinion. Something else could be going on that no one but actual medical docs and dieticians can help you with. You obviously have the determination and a positive attitude in your corner, so, like Quick said, don't let a number on the scale be the final judge. Like you say...carry on  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 11:52:15 AM CST

Bill S

This comment has been removed by the author.  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 11:52:16 AM CST

Mike W.

Londell - the folks above me have given some great advice. See the doc and make sure that they don't find anything. I know how frustrating it can be, cut yourself some slack and keep working out as it is good for the mind regardless of the impact on the weight. You will find the solution so keep pressing on until you do. Best of luck!   Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 8:12:56 PM CST

Steve

Londell, stay persistent and don't worry about the scale. My advice would be to rely on measurements rather than a scale. One's weight can fluctuate due to water gain/loss as well as muscle gain. Another suggestion would be to cut way back on the high glycemic load foods such as bread, potatoes, and pasta. They will spike your insulin system and put your body into fat storage mode. Stick to meats, fruits, veg, and nuts and you'll see the pounds come off. 
Also, take doctors' and dietitian's advice with a grain of salt. Most doctor's are too apt to throw medication at problems rather than find the root cause, and dietitians too often just worry about caloric intake. If these folks are cutting the mustard for you, seek some other advice. And last of all, keep expressing your feelings. It's a healthy and normal thing to do. We're all here in support of you. Now carry on! :)  Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 8:20:46 PM CST

Steve

Good grief, did I really misspell "dietician" that many times? Oy vey!! Note to self, no posting when tired and sleepy.........Friday, February 26, 2010 at 9:57:47 PM CST

Recent information

I was so excited to read about the amazing successes in the recent ultra races! I mean, who wouldn’t be impressed by John Taylor’s incredible 59 hours and 11 minutes at Arrowhead 135? It’s incredible to think about how far he’s come and how much courage it takes to keep going when you’re at the back of the pack. It’s truly inspiring! I hope he gives a report about his race. Karen is a bit of a down-to-earth person, but she’s still incredibly talented. She finished the Rocky Racoon 100 in 27:45:02, which is an amazing time. Wayne Nelson, on the other hand, was a bit more competitive and finished the 50-mile race in 12:16:58. But he didn’t give up on Karen and went back to support her. It’s clear that both of them are hard workers and that their success is a result of their dedication and perseverance.

I still need to weigh myself, but I’m more focused on my workouts and diet at the moment. I’m up to 45-60 minutes on the bike at lunch, 60 minutes on the elliptical at least four days a week, and three days of weightlifting. I feel stronger, but my clothes fit differently. I got a hug and someone said I was “less round,” but I’m not sure if that was a compliment. I took it as a compliment, though. I’ll keep pushing myself, and I think I’m becoming more comfortable each week. I’ll extend my workouts by 5-10% and let the rest take its course.

Guess what? I got a call from an old friend I hadn’t seen in ages! She left a voicemail at my old workplace when I switched to a new phone a few years back. She didn’t have my new number, but she remembered where I worked. I called her back, and she filled me in on all the exciting stuff in her life. She recently got engaged! Remember when we met in 2006? She was in a long-term relationship, and I tried to encourage her to explore other options because she seemed really unhappy. Well, she met her fiancé in 2008, and she’s so happy now! She’s also doing really well at her job and still wants to have kids. But as we talked, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad amidst all the happiness.

She spoke of her father’s hospitalization after Christmas due to lung cancer (Mesothelioma). A contractor, he’d demolished asbestos-filled structures before the danger was known. Angry that he didn’t fight for life, she regretted her words and left the room when he passed. Crying, she expressed sadness about her words and his loss of will to fight. This left me speechless. I usually have an opinion, but this made me think.

Given my advanced age and the imminent growth of my child (who is soon to be 21), I have found myself contemplating the challenges faced by parents like myself. I shared with her that one of the most arduous periods in the lives of many parents is witnessing the remarkable transformation of their children into well-adjusted adults while simultaneously grappling with the realization that our involvement in their lives may eventually come to an end. I emphasized that parenting has been an experience that simultaneously brings immense frustration and profound fulfillment.

In response to my inquiry about her father’s wisdom, she expressed her admiration for his intelligence and compassion. Subsequently, I posed a hypothetical scenario: if her father were participating in a 100-mile race, would he be able to discern when it had concluded? Furthermore, if he desired to discontinue the race, would she be permitted to address him in a manner that might motivate him to complete it? It is important to note that some of these suggestions may not be the most flattering.

She expressed that he possessed a profound understanding of his physical well-being and capabilities. Subsequently, I inquired about her reasons for questioning his decision to cease fighting cancer, given his knowledge of her limitations and inability to comprehend the situation. I informed her that I frequently encounter such individuals who have demonstrated remarkable resilience in battling a disease. At some point, they attain a state of knowledge and acceptance of their journey. He was aware that his decision would likely cause distress to those who loved him, leading me to believe that the words he left behind were not intended to cause harm, but rather to convey his understanding. After all, he was a wise man.

I requested that she look in the mirror and smile. Her father was present, and she needed to be joyful about her upcoming marriage and the prospect of parenthood. It would be an extraordinary experience; she would have him and his memories as one of the most valuable guides. She should not be saddened but rather grateful for having a caring father who possessed the wisdom and knowledge to make the best decisions as a parent and an individual. I discerned a hint of happiness in her smile.

In response to her inquiry about my life, I informed her that I had to depart due to the limited depth of my experiences. She requested my address and expressed a desire to schedule a meeting in the near future. After our conversation, we disconnected. I anticipate receiving a wedding invitation in the near future, but the timing of our next conversation remains uncertain. I am perplexed by the contemporary phenomenon of failing to maintain consistent contact with friends through electronic communication. However, similarly to her father, we harbor a desire to engage in activities when opportunities arise.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

Helen

Difficult enough to lose a parent but under those circumstances very hard to deal with. I expect your conversation helped your friend immensely. The fact that she called you in the first place says a lot - and I am sure she was very glad she did.  Great progress on the workouts! Friday, February 12, 2010 at 8:37:21 PM CST

Beth

I'm glad you were there for your old friend. Obviously, she knew that you were an ear that she could depend on. Great job with the workouts and yes, I would take less round as a compliment. :) Monday, February 15, 2010 at 9:38:02 PM CST

Biggest loser and jug bands

This week, our hometown team, O’Neal and Sunshine Hampton, returned to the Biggest Loser Ranch. They achieved remarkable results, losing a combined 76 pounds in four weeks at home, averaging approximately 9.5 pounds per week. This surpasses the weight loss achieved by Cherita and Victoria, who lost 63 pounds each, over the same period. O’Neal’s weekly weight loss was just under 13 pounds.

What particularly impressed me was the eloquence of Cherita in her words of defeat and the conciliatory words of O’Neal, who did not lose weight. Their actions demonstrated remarkable human qualities.

While some of the participants on this year’s show have not been as well-received, O’Neal and Sunshine Hampton’s words of encouragement and support have been a refreshing contrast. Their words of wisdom and perseverance have left a lasting impression on me.

In the coming weeks, I anticipate seeing and hearing from O’Neal and Sunshine, who have already shown signs of adjustment to the ranch environment. Their journey serves as an inspiration, reminding us that small steps and unwavering determination are essential for achieving success.

I have been progressing steadily, albeit not at the extraordinary pace of O’Neal, yet I am content with my current trajectory. While I have refrained from weighing myself for the past three weeks, I have maintained a consistent daily routine of cycling and using the elliptical. For January, I have averaged 75 minutes of exercise each day. Additionally, I engage in strength training three days a week.

My plantar fascia pain is intermittent, and my knee condition remains satisfactory.

Although I have been occupied with work and tennis commitments over the past month, I have managed to complete the re-certification classes last weekend. I am pleased to report that I successfully passed all the tests.

As we enter February, I extend my best wishes to everyone and look forward to the arrival of spring. For those seeking entertainment on Valentine’s Day, Cabooze hosts its annual Battle of the Jug Bands at 12:30 PM. This esteemed event, which is widely regarded as the oldest jug band gathering in the known universe, features a diverse lineup of bands, including Como Avenue Jug Band, Malcolm Tent and Heptic Discharge, Mississippi Underertow, Sasquatch Wristwatch, New Improved Jook Savages, Bernie King and the Guilty Pleasures, Good Samaritans, Goat Hearts, Fisher Coulee Ramblers, The Hump Night Thumpers, Mad City Jug Band, Boo Bradley, Feral Dogs, Lee “Colorblind” Johnson, Try This At Home Jug Band, Woodshop, MN 17, Strictly Jug Nuts, Mommy and the Bollocky Boys, West Bank Temperance League, and the Roe Family Singers.

Although this year will be a somber occasion due to the passing of Cam Waters just before Christmas, his brief but remarkable presence on the Minnesota music scene will undoubtedly enhance the event. I am confident that he will be watching over us, making this year’s celebration truly unforgettable.

The Cabooze is hosting a delightful event that promises to be a memorable experience for all ages. Participants are welcome to join a 20-mile run before gathering at the Cabooze. The event will feature a potluck, and children are encouraged to participate.

During my first visit in 2006, I had the pleasure of joining Dana on an 8-mile run. Despite her initial reluctance, she persuaded me to attend, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Notably, I had never encountered a live jug band before that day, or at least not to my recollection.

One particularly memorable moment occurred when I discovered an old favorite food of my grandfather, pickled pig's feet, at the potluck. It is remarkable how the act of eating can evoke such vivid memories. As I reflect on this event, I am reminded of the profound impact that my grandfather, Bill, had on my life. He was a beloved figure who extended kindness and care to everyone he encountered. His remarkable intellect and sharp wit remained until the very end, even as he approached his 100th birthday.

Meanwhile, the Arrowhead 135 race is underway, and I am delighted to inform you that several friends are en route to Texas for the event. The season is set to commence, and I eagerly anticipate the exciting developments that lie ahead.

Carry on my friends, Carry on...

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

wildknits

Ah - Cam Waters... remember hearing him years and years ago (18 or so - kids were babies then) at the Northland Folk Festival in Ashland. Have a tape rattling around the house somewhere. He will be missed!  Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 8:29:42 PM CST

Beth

I can tell your enthusiasm is on the rise. Yeah! I'm enjoying TBL, also, but missed that one. Glad the MN peeps are back and that they all played nice. I am also not liking some of the contestants, but like to watch when I can. So glad the knee is feeling good!  Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 9:58:27 PM CST

Steve

Londell, stay persistent and you will reach your goals. Success doesn't happen overnight. I'm looking forward to your return to the trails. You've been missed!  Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 6:42:56 PM CST

I refuse to weigh myself

I’ve debated weighing myself to track my progress. I have goals and need reports to measure their success. My workouts have been consistently better this year. I work out for at least 40 minutes daily, sometimes twice a day. I’ve had three workouts with at least 30 minutes this year. Most workouts this week were over an hour for at least 6 days. Today, I did 90 minutes of hard elliptical, upper body weights, and felt fine. I don’t feel much lighter, but I feel stronger, so I’m not weighing myself yet.

How often should I weigh myself? Experts disagree. Some experts don’t recommend daily weighing, while researchers at the University of Minnesota found that daily weigh-ins resulted in more weight loss over two years than weekly weigh-ins. I’ve used three diet programs (FitDay, Spark People, and Livestrong’s Daily Plate) to monitor my diet and calorie deficit (about 900-1,500 calories daily, including workouts). Should I expect to lose 4-5 pounds? Each program has its benefits for monitoring calories and nutrition, but they’re similar enough. However, I avoid weighing because it can lead to unhealthy obsession.

I have observed that my weight can also fluctuate throughout the day. Consequently, if I weigh myself in the morning one day and then in the afternoon the following day, I may perceive a “false” weight gain. Regardless, I will wait to ascertain whether I have lost weight. Subsequently, I may be disappointed that it is less than I anticipated.

I acknowledge that I will never triumph in this endeavor, so I must accept it. I extend my best wishes to those who attempted the Winter Carnival Half Marathon today. The weather conditions could have been more favorable.

My schedule has been demanding, and my next post will likely be published after I finally weigh myself, unless I inadvertently damage the household.

Carry on my friends, carry on!

Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.

Karen G

My belief is diet before exercise as the most important part of weight control. Had I not been on Weight Watchers, I am sure I would never have been able to start running and have lost the 40-50 I did. We weighed weekly.  Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 7:56:24 AM CST

Beth

I weigh myself every day. It is a physical action that helps remind me of my goals. I always weigh after I get up in the morning and go to the bathroom. Don't be afraid! It sounds like you are doing everything right, so the scale will be your friend.  Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 10:17:15 PM CST

SteveQ

The frequency of weighing is a mental matter. If weighing every day causes one to obsess, it's a bad idea. If weighing weekly causes one to wonder what caused every little increase or decrease, it can also be a problem. I weigh myself once a month, on the same day of the week each time, first thing in the morning - but I'm not trying to lose much.  Monday, January 25, 2010 at 10:32:29 AM CST