I was overweight for most of my childhood. During a formative period in my life, I learned to tolerate the burdens and stigmas society associates with being “fat.” As is common for many children undergoing puberty or other growth spurts, I became one of the “fat kids” around the age of 5th grade and remained in that group until my sophomore year of high school.
I became acutely aware of the experience of being singled out. I was often shunned, the butt of jokes and pranks, and subjected to the cruelty that my “normal” classmates could sometimes exercise, to ensure that I understood my place in the pecking order of adolescent society.
Additionally, I learned about the limitations of adult society. Adults may be insensitive or simply uninformed about what they say. This included my parents. I discovered that adults did not always prioritize a fat child’s need to belong to his peer group at this age. As a result, I ended up wearing “fat kid” clothes, which, in the 1970s, were quite obviously different in style compared to what our classmates considered the “in” thing to be accepted.
From various perspectives, the underlying message was that individuals labeled as “chubby” or “fattys” were considered marginalized members of society, at best. As long as we adhered to the “majority” standards, we could be tolerated, but not necessarily welcomed into the mainstream.
As anyone who has experienced early adolescence can attest, deviating from the norm can lead to painful isolation or, at the very least, significant frustration. Many would perceive you as unworthy, incapable, or undesirable as a friend. Fortunately, as I was fortunate to be, we learn to appreciate the friendships and relationships offered without prejudice or reservation. This is the way I have discovered true ultra-marathon runners. Accepting and nurturing individuals, regardless of who receives their kindness, is a challenge.
I am fortunate to have a nurturing environment that overlooks the limitations or differences imposed by life’s circumstances. I was fortunate enough to have had some good friends and adults who accepted me for who I was when my family did not.
Unconditional love helped me realize that while society and classmates may exclude me, some people support me and strive for inclusion. These are the people I seek, regardless of my situation.
I grew out of being a “fat kid,” but I realized that ignorance, exclusion, and petty assumptions persist, regardless of the issue. Discrimination now arises from different topics, but the source remains the same: mindless conformity and heartless insecurity. Had I not gone through my “fatty” period, I might not have coped as well or had my values strengthened when more adult transgressions against decency, tolerance, humanity, intelligence, and even love occurred.
Despite its oddity, this experience brought me numerous positive benefits, strengthening my soul in ways my unchallenged peers may not have. It taught me about human hurtfulness, acceptance, compassion, and finding actual value in others, shaping my character and relationships. Although unconventional, it has had a significant impact on my experience.
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