Youth sports

It is with profound sorrow that I learned of the tragic incident involving Kasandra M. Perkins and Jovan Belcher this weekend. Despite their promising futures, with him earning a substantial income from his sport and them raising a three-month-old child, the circumstances leading to his actions remain shrouded in mystery. While the exact cause may never be fully understood, it is worth considering whether his involvement in youth sports could have played a role in shaping his behavior.

Recently, I have read several articles on bounties in Pop Warner Football. You can find more articles at the following links: Link 1, Link 2, Link 3, and many more. (Link 3 is particularly disheartening.)

I also recently read “Play Their Hearts Out: A Coach, His Star Recruit, and the Youth Basketball Machine” by George Dohrmann. I read this book after reading the Minnesota Amateur Sports Commission survey results, which stated:

• 45.3% of youth leaguers said that adults had called them names, yelled at them, or insulted them while playing a game.
• 21% said that they had been pressured to play with an injury.
• 17.5% said that an adult had hit, kicked, or slapped them during a game
• 8.2% said that they had been pressured to harm others intentionally. 

A USA survey poll in Indianapolis, Indiana, found:

• 55% of parents said that they had seen other parents engaging in verbal abuse at youth sporting events.
• 21% said that they had seen a physical altercation between other parents.

A survey conducted by Sports Illustrated for Kids magazine found:

• 74% of youth athletes reported that they had watched out-of-control adults at their games
• 37% of the athletes had watched their parents yelling at children
• 27% had watched parents yelling at coaches or officials
• 25% had watched coaches yelling at officials or children
• 4% had watched violence by adults

In a survey conducted by SportingKid magazine, over 84% of respondents, including adults and youth sports players, reported witnessing parents exhibiting violent behavior (such as shouting, scolding, or employing abusive language) towards children, coaches, or officials during youth sporting events.

Furthermore, it is concerning to note that even in the most severe cases, approximately 50% of youth sports players have experienced verbal abuse. Regrettably, a significant number of these abuse episodes remain unreported. I acknowledge my own responsibility in failing to report such incidents in the past.

On February 21, 2002, a day that will forever be etched in my memory, I found myself at a tennis tournament on a Friday afternoon. As I was searching for a lost ball in a secluded hallway, away from the main crowd, I noticed a young boy, approximately 14 years old, emerging from the court. He had achieved a remarkable victory, securing a straight-set win with scores of 6-0 and 6-1.

Nearby, another individual was also exiting the court, standing beside the victorious boy. In a moment that would forever haunt me, I witnessed the boy’s father, the man beside him, seize the boy’s shirt and forcefully push him against the wall with his forearm across his throat. The father’s words were chilling and filled with anger, as he declared, “You little Sh#@, I do not spend over $20,000 a year for you to come out here and lose a game to a no-name F&@k. Get your head out, you’re a$^, or you’re through! You got it!”  

He released the boy from his grasp against the wall, and they proceeded past me. The boy was visibly distressed. Years later, I witnessed the same parent utter the words, “Your day is coming,” to an official following their son’s defeat in an officiated match.

This incident stands as one of numerous regrets in life. I should have reported the matter to the authorities, but I failed to do so.

In the realm of sports, whether it be ultra-running, golf, tennis, baseball, football, soccer, or croquet, the primary motivator for participants is often the competition itself—whether it be against others, oneself, or even oneself. Frequently, the intensity of the competition extends beyond the individual participant, encompassing coaches, peers, and parents.

Over the past three decades, I have had the privilege of assuming various roles, including those of coach, player, and parent. While I have had opportunities to excel in each of these areas, I could have achieved greater success in some instances. While my experiences have been both positive and negative, they have provided valuable insights into the nature of children.

I do not attribute my shortcomings to any single factor but instead to the inherent human behaviors that often accompany success. Whether it is participating in youth sports in small rural towns or competing in professional sports in the bustling metropolis of New York City, there are inherent advantages to being the champion and the best of the best. Personal pride in accomplishment and the admiration of peers are the first undeniable benefits of achieving success. Championship youth sports teams or athletes frequently find themselves inundated with sponsors offering to purchase uniforms and equipment, some of whom outright refuse to consider financial assistance when approached at the outset of the season.

I have heard of ultra-runners who receive shoes, clothing, supplies, and other items after achieving an impressive time or victory. Before their victories, they had limited opportunities to receive anything for free, except for items they might find at the expo. This concept is ingrained from a young age: winning results in receiving something, while losing results in receiving nothing. I support the notion that there should be no trophies awarded in youth sports to players under the age of twelve.

Society has become one where everything is perceived as a game. A game of “who accumulates the most possessions or wins” has permeated our society, akin to a cancerous growth that shows no signs of abating. It has devastated financial empires and governments, leaving us devoid of a moral compass.

Is this delving into too much complexity for the realm of sports? What could sports possibly accomplish in a world that has deviated from ethical principles? Possibly everything.

The issue can be traced back to the youth. Our youth are exposed to the seriousness of sports before they are introduced to the academic world. Consider this: children engage in activities such as baseball, football, soccer, marbles, and kickball long before they take their education seriously. They emulate the players they observe on television, not their teachers, and this is not to diminish the significance of a teacher’s role; it is merely a factual observation.

Fortunately, children are too young to comprehend the unethical practices that occur on Wall Street, such as Ponzi schemes, foreclosures, corrupt politicians, performance-enhancing drugs, or spying on a team’s practice. Nevertheless, they are mature enough and intelligent enough to learn how to play the game “fairly.” They require the support of appropriate coaches, parents, and community members to enjoy the game, rather than adopting a “win or you’re a loser” mentality. 

As previously mentioned, I recently read “Play Their Hearts Out: A Coach, His Star Recruit, and the Youth Basketball Machine” by George Dohrmann. In the book, I learned about the Pop Warner Youth Football bounties and the Jevons Belcher murder-suicide. This made me question how many societal issues are attributed to youth sports. While schools are often blamed, it is concerning that nearly five out of ten youth sports participants experience verbal abuse, which can negatively impact self-esteem.

Youth sports require rigorous monitoring, similar to the scrutiny given to our classrooms. However, society tends to prioritize winning, and youth sports and the military are not subject to the same level of micromanagement. This needs to change. I believe a coach can have a profound and potentially detrimental impact on a young person’s life in a single season. Therefore, stricter penalties should be implemented. However, it appears increasingly unlikely that such measures will be enacted.

All you quiet dreamers, carry on!