I recently met a friend who expressed her overwhelming workload. She worked over 50 hours a week, had minimal time off, and even spent weekends in the office. I felt fortunate to have 81 days off this year, including weekends and holidays. She had less than 70 days off, including weekends. Despite our different situations, we both looked exhausted and left.
Later, I met another friend who shared his wife’s infidelity and divorce. She sought full custody and substantial spousal support. He took a second job to pay legal fees and preserve their child’s future. His tone echoed the friend’s earlier struggle, expressing his own busyness and lack of time and money. The tone I hear (and often use) is one of exhaustion, tiredness, and overwhelm.
This is a sad state of adult life. A coworker tried to get another coworker to join them for an outing with the kids. They scrolled their phones and finally screened the kids, who had an hour open in two weeks. They set the date, saying it’s hard because the child has swimming, gymnastics, piano, and voice lessons. I learned that destructive habits start early. I spend time thinking about myself, wondering how I ended up living like this and why I work until I can’t function, only to sleep and start again. I forget I’m a human being, not a human doing.
I never learned to sit with my loved ones and have meaningful conversations about our hearts and souls. Are these conversations slow, with pregnant pauses and silences that we don’t rush to fill? How have I created a world where I have more to do with less time for leisure, reflection, community, and simply being?
Busyness, a common yet spiritually destructive disease, saps my ability to be present with loved ones and form meaningful communities. Despite technological advancements since the 1970s, I have less leisure time today. The blurred lines between work and home, exacerbated by the constant use of smartphones and laptops, further aggravate this issue.
I struggle with the overwhelming volume of emails. After taking five days off work to avoid burnout, I returned to over 400 emails and 30 voicemails, some of which were repeated with anger due to the delay in my absence. Despite using techniques like only responding in the evenings, not responding over weekends, and asking people to schedule more face-to-face time, the emails continue to flood in. People expect immediate responses, and I, too, am busy.
The reality differs for others, like my sister. Working two low-paying jobs is the only way to support the family. Over 20% of children live in poverty, and many parents work minimum wage jobs just to provide for their families. We’re all overwhelmed. I’m worn out. I remember I’m human, not just a machine checking off tasks. I need a different relationship with technology. I want a meaningful life, a sense of community, and a balanced existence. It’s not just about “leaning in” or faster iPhones. I want to be truly human.
WB Yeats wrote: “It takes more courage to examine the dark corners of your soul than it does for a soldier to fight on a battlefield.” How can I examine my soul when I’m busy? How can I live an examined life? I’ve always been hopeful, but I wonder if I’ll have the conversations to do and live like that. I need a different organizing model in my life, in society, in my family, and in my community.
But my recently encountered friends and my co-worker’s children have no clue how. Neither do I!
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