Over the past few weeks, I have had the incredible opportunity to spend quality time with my son. While I am incredibly proud and wish I could be half the man he has become, I can’t help but wonder if I did a good job as a father. He often exhibits some of my less-than-desirable traits, which makes me question my success as a parent. However, he is a wonderful person, so did I forget? I always believed that I did my best, but was that enough? Will I ever be satisfied with myself, even when I find immense joy in watching him grow?
However, as the renowned Winston Churchill wisely remarked, “It’s not enough to do our best; sometimes, we must do what is necessary.” Have I given my all but failed miserably in fulfilling the required tasks? But what exactly constitutes the necessary actions? Does anyone truly possess the knowledge to provide an accurate answer?
In February, I watched the Super Bowl. The Denver Broncos appeared hesitant to participate in the game and, in my opinion, didn’t give their best effort. Although the Broncos were obligated to be in New York, I don’t believe they performed their best. But what does this signify? Over the past few years, I’ve faced numerous doubts. I’ve spent more time dwelling on my failures than on my successes.
Many times, I’ve achieved success that was the result of another failure. To illustrate this, I often recall the great runner Paula Radcliffe.
In 2005, Radcliffe participated in the London Marathon with the ambitious goal of becoming the world’s fastest woman in marathon history. Despite her strong start, she encountered a significant challenge near the end of the race—literally.
As Paula Radcliffe neared the end of that crucial race—a race that, if she won, would secure her the title of the world’s fastest female marathon runner—she came to a disheartening realization: she urgently needed to use the restroom. Unfortunately, visiting a nearby bathroom would jeopardize her chance of breaking the record-breaking time she had set her sights on. Despite the urgency of her need, Paula knew she had to push through and finish the race.
As Paula Radcliffe neared the end of her race, facing the prospect of failure, she made a surprising decision. Instead of going to a nearby bathroom, she paused briefly and released the pressure. This act of vulnerability was witnessed by hundreds of people, with cameras capturing her moment and broadcasting the race to spectators worldwide.
After completing the marathon, Paula stood up, crossed the finish line, and accomplished her initial goal of becoming the world’s fastest female marathon runner.
And the rest is history.
I hadn’t given much thought to “Paula’s Poop,” but I was contemplating doing my best. Is that enough? Like being a father, you never know if it’s the right choice. She might be the fastest person in history, but she’ll also be known for pooping all over herself. Did she make the right decision?
When I write, I frequently encounter human limitations. These limitations can manifest in various forms, such as physical constraints, like Paula’s, or emotional, spiritual, or even intellectual limitations. When I hit a roadblock, I often seek to understand the underlying reasons for the challenges I face or the obstacles that prevent me from achieving my desired outcome.
Perhaps I believe the reason behind my current lack of productivity is that I haven’t exerted enough effort. Alternatively, I might be experiencing a form of punishment for past actions. There could be an inherent flaw within me that I’m grappling with. However, I may find solace if I cease my search for what I did right or wrong and instead focus on the challenges that arise before me.
Instead, I would continue working at my job, dedicating more hours and striving to motivate my team. I would diligently follow my supervisors’ instructions and strive to excel in my role. Yet, I find myself doubting whether my efforts are truly sufficient. This is the only place where I feel confident that my best is more than enough. I don’t experience this sense of accomplishment anywhere else in my life. I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, and unhappy. Life isn’t always pleasant, and I feel trapped in a cycle of stress and dissatisfaction. I’ve reached a crisis point in my life.
The answer might be to realize that there’s no definitive answer. Doing my best means doing nothing at all. I’m uncertain, and I’m not sure I’ll ever know for sure. However, one thing is certain: I often feel the urge to go for a walk and relieve myself. It worked for Radcliffe, but I’m not sure it would be effective for me, except for the possibility of getting arrested.
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