It was on this day, ten years ago, that I met a girl. I had been divorced for several years and was eager to date again. Long-term dating breakups or divorces are never easy, as we once believed that the person we were with was perfect. However, I failed to make that assumption. Looking back, I often blame myself for the issues, not the other person. This helps me keep the best of those memories alive. The bad memories are forgotten because once I have formed a new habit of letting go of any perceived issues, why dwell on them?
I’ve always believed that the “one-year rule” is crucial after a breakup or divorce. This rule suggests that you should limit dating, if you do date at all, for a year from any significant breakup. While it wasn’t always a strict one-year rule, it was either a year or the duration of your relationship, whichever was shorter. This period allows you ample time to “get over” the past relationship. For instance, I was married for a decade, so the rule applied for a year. However, it took me 2.5 years before I felt ready to move on.
I had limited knowledge about the girl I was about to meet. Despite being older than me, we shared numerous common interests and also had some differences. It was a blind date lunch.
We had planned to meet at Panera Bread at 11:30 AM. I arrived at 11:25 AM, as punctuality is essential to me. I waited patiently, but it was 11:35 AM and still no one. I started feeling disappointed, thinking I might be stood up. However, at 11:38 AM, I noticed a girl driving up in a Nissan Pathfinder. While I’m not a fan of large, gas-guzzling vehicles, I decided to put my disappointment aside.
We introduced ourselves, and her natural beauty left a lasting impression on me. She sincerely apologized for being late, although I’ve noticed that over the past decade, she’s been about 8-10 minutes late on 99% of occasions. It’s simply her way of being.
Then we went inside to order. As she proceeded, it was a painfully slow process. I even had the audacity to say, “Okay, Sally,” as she was ordering, just like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. She laughed!
We had an instant and enjoyable conversation. It was effortless. I was genuinely impressed with the girl. However, she then revealed that she was still married but separated. So, here I am, a man who values promptness, prefers quick decision-making, and believes the one-year rule is crucial for her to be prepared for another relationship. Despite these differences, I found myself continuing the conversation. Perhaps it was because I liked her! Could our contrasting personalities make it an intriguing challenge?
Every year on March 23rd at 11:30 AM, I’ve made it a habit to visit that Panera store. Last year, I was so overwhelmed with work that I completely forgot it was March. When the day finally arrived and I realized my oversight, my heart sank. Fortunately, she didn’t show up either. (To be fair, she had asked if I would be there, and I had informed her that I had forgotten and had a scheduled meeting.) However, she doesn’t know that I had left the meeting early and had gone to Panera at 11:34 AM. I was alone. She didn’t show up. Even though I never mentioned it to her, I still went.
That was hurtful, but the day we met held a more profound significance for me than it did for her. Even without her presence, at precisely 11:34, standing on that sidewalk, I am filled with joy and happiness whenever I recall that memory. Of course, there were other instances when she was absent, but that is a story for another time.
Since that day, my life has improved in numerous ways, but one of the most significant is the rekindling of my passion for storytelling. When we first began communicating, during that intense week of emails leading up to our in-person meeting, I shared many stories, and I still vividly recall some of them. I must admit, I’ve strayed from the main topic.
She shares my quirky personality! In fact, she’s almost a female counterpart to me in more ways than we are opposites. I understand that may sound unfortunate, but we found a way to connect—apologies for the digression. I’m back on track today.
Today marks the day I’ll visit Panera Bread at 11:25 AM. I’m uncertain if I’ll be eating alone or if she’ll show up. I know she’s been on and off for the past decade. Despite the challenges we’ve faced, she’s made a positive impact on my life. Although I believe we’ve only had a few heated arguments over the years, I can’t recall any significant disagreements. I genuinely think she’s one of a kind, as I’ve never found a perfect match in my life. I genuinely hope she arrives at the restaurant and feels the same way. To this day, I still say, “I met a girl…”
I hope you all find someone who is a good match. It’s a wonderful feeling, and one that every human being should experience.
All you quiet dreamers, carry on!
Comments from my original blog - I merged the blogs.
SteveQ
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